Life is never simple
by Pippa13
Summary: Ava Cousland has defeated the Archdemon and lost her love Alistair. Can she find the strength to move on and forgive in order to be Commander of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden?
1. Never a happy ending

Chapter one

Ok, so this is my first attempt at writing, ever. However, I had an idea in my head that won't go away. Please be gentle, but I welcome all criticisms, they can only help improve the story. Also if anyone would like to be my beta, I would be very grateful. Here we go...

As Ava lay in bed recovering, her treacherous mind kept going back to his final moments atop fort Drakon.

_As she looked at the Archdemon, she knew this was what they had worked so hard over the past year to achieve. The past months spent gathering an army and defeating Loghain to end the civil war had boiled down to this moment. But even knowing that did not stop the indescribable fear that she felt when she saw the blasted thing._

_Leaving some of her companions at the gates of Denerim had been hard. They had all gone through this together, they all deserved to see it end together, but she knew it wasn't possible. Someone needed to hold the gates and she left Oghren in charge._

_They had fought their way through the city of Denerim, ending the lives of all darkspawn that stood in their way. Much of the city was in ruins, fires burning randomly throughout and there seemed not to be a soul in sight. Riordan had died trying to defeat the creature, but his death was not in vain, he had damaged the beasts wing enough to prevent the creature from flying off_

_She had brought with her Wynne, her dog Xerxes and Alistair. Herself and Alistair were a forced to be reckoned with. They knew the art of fighting well, as if it was almost a dance between the two of them and their styles of fighting complimented each other's. Now was not the time to hesitate, she and her companions charged for the beast, leaving the dwarves that she had brought with her to fight the darkspawn that had accompanied the Archdemon. They began cutting and slicing, hacking at the monster bit by bit, leaving Wynne to heal them when needed. They were continuing like this for what seemed like ages, and they were tiring. Ava needed to think of something quickly, otherwise they would not survive the battle._

_'Alistair, I need you' she shouted_

_He came running over to her in an instant._

_'Do you remember that ogre in the deeproads that just would not go down?' she questioned._

_'Of course!' he retorted, looking at her as if she'd gone mad, now was not the time to be reminiscing about such things._

_'That move that we used, I think now would be a good time for a repeat performance' she said, flashing him a wide grin._

_He mirrored her grin with one of his own as he finally realised what she was suggesting. Using Xerxes as a distraction, herself and Alistair ran to the back of the Archdemon. Alistair bent over whilst she took a running leap at the creature vaulting from his back in the process. Ava was launched through the air, heading for the creatures back She plunged her twin daggers into the creature to prevent herself from falling back to the floor. When she had steadied herself, Ava pulled herself atop the creature's head and plunged her daggers into the archdemon's neck, slicing deep into the scales, blood pouring onto the floor. The archdemon roared with an unholy noise, throwing her from him in the process. The monster, in a weakened state was unable to fight and fell to the floor. Alistair ran over to her._

_'Are you ok my love?' Alistair asked._

_'I will be fine if you help me up, I will need your sword for the final blow, I lost mine.' she said._

_'I'm afraid I can't do that.' he said calmly._

_'What are you talking about, help me up. We've talked about this, I am the one to take the final blow!' she cried realisation dawning on her as to what Alistair was thinking._

_'Do you really think that I would let the woman I love die?' he asked, adoration marking his features_

_'Alistair, please think about this, Ferelden needs you, you are their king.'_

_'And this is the best thing that I can do as their king, save them from the blight. You are to be the commander of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden. You must be there for your wardens, they will need a strong leader in the time to come, it's what Duncan would have wanted.' he said with determination._

_'Please Alistair, this is crazy.' she cried, anguish in her voice._

_'It's the most sane thing I've ever done. I love you Ava, never doubt that, I always will.' he said with a finality._

_He leaned down to kiss her for one last time, tasting the saltiness of her tears as they slid down her face. He gave her one last loving smile and ran over to the beast._

As Ava pulled herself out of her thoughts, her mind was still marked with the image of Alistair's face as he plunged his sword deep into the Archdemon's skull, the look of sheer determination on his face. He was surrounded by a blinding white light that quickly engulfed them all, and that is the last time she saw him.

She had spent the best part of a week convalescing in Denerim palace. Recovering wasn't the right word, she supposed, she was just struggling to face anyone at the moment. Knowing that she will never see Alistair again, his boyish grin and bright amber eyes, weighing heavily on her heart. Ava was also struggling with feelings of guilt that he sacrificed himself to save her. Her mind, already deciding that she had not had enough torture, kept going back to the thought that, would things be different if she had accepted Morrigan's offer? Would Alistair still be here? But deep down, she knew that they had made the right decision What was the point of ridding the world of one evil when they could potentially be filling it with another. But even knowing that didn't make it any easier.

There was a gentle knock at the door.

'Come in.' she called softly, not really wanting to see anyone, but knowing that she couldn't really avoid them any longer. To her relief, it was Leliana.

'How do you fare?' she asked gently.

She was unable to stop the tears that sprang to her eyes. ' I miss him, Leliana.'

'I know, ma soeur.' she said softly 'But you need to carry on with your life, it is what Alistair would have wanted.'

And unable to stop them the tears flowed freely. Leliana held her head in her lap, gently rocking her back and forth until she finally cried herself to sleep. Leliana moved away slowly, laying her head on a pillow and left the room, gently shutting the door behind her.

When she awoke, the first light of the day was slowly creeping into her room and she knew that it was morning. She could hear the hustle and bustle of the castle staff as they went about their daily chores. Ava knew Leliana was right, she couldn't carry on in her self-pity. Alistair had sacrificed himself so that she could live. She needed to honour his memory and do her duty to the country they both so dearly loved.

She swung her legs round and placed her feet on the cold stone floor. She padded softly over to the vanity in her room and looked in the mirror. Ava grimaced, she looked terrible. She slowly removed her long nightgown and started to slowly buckle herself in her dragonscale amour. She brushed her long, auburn hair, and placed braids round her head. She smeared her lips with colour that she knew was Alistair's favourite, and smiled at the thought of him, even if it did bring a sadness to her heart. Taking a final look at herself in the mirror, she headed out of the door to face the world.


	2. A new start

Chapter 2

Mhiari seemed like a nice girl, if in awe of Ava a bit too much. The girl had been sent to accompany her to the vigil so that she was able to take up the mantle of Commander of the Ferelden Grey Wardens. The Grey Wardens had been bestowed the arling of Amaranthine in their efforts against the blight and their service to the country, so that they are able to build up their order once again.

Ava never really liked Anora, even from their younger days at court, she had found Anora to be cold and calculating, especially in her efforts to win over Prince Cailan. There had once been talk of a match between prince Cailan and Ava Cousland, but Anora had soon put a stop to that. And the way that Anora had betrayed them after rescuing her from the clutches of Rendon Howe, even though Ava could understand why Anora did that. However she had found a new respect for the Queen that followed the events upon Fort Drakon and how she managed to keep things going, despite losing her father and husband.

'Ah, Warden, are you finding the celebrations to your liking?' Anora asked, a fake smile plastered upon her pretty face.

'I've never been one to partake in such celebrations, your highness.' Ava said, forcing a smile of her own.

'Ah yes, you were always in the corner sulking at the parties held in court, clearly dragged there by your parents, but come, the people want to celebrate the hero of Ferelden' Anora chuckled.

'I don't feel much like a hero.' she said quietly, thinking about Alistair and desperately wishing she did not have to do this without him.

'But that is how they see you and Alistair.' the Queen said gently. 'He will be forever seen as the hero king who saved them all from the blight.'

At the mention of Alistair's name, tears threatened at the corner of her eyes but she refused to let them fall. It would do no good to keep falling apart when she heard his name.

'I know we were never close Ava, but I can see how much you miss him.' Anora said, understanding in her face. 'Despite what people may have thought about me and Cailan, I did love him...' Anora mumbled, trailing off into her own thoughts. 'That is why I would like to give you the arling of Amaranthine, to help rebuild your order, I know that is what Alistair would have wanted.

Ava knew that the wardens had no real home to call their own, it was something that she and Alistair had discussed often, as well as the rebuilding of the order.

'That is most gracious of you, your highness.' Ava said, unable to hide the surprise and gratitude from her voice.

'You are welcome Warden.' the Queen said with genuine sincerity. And with that, fake smile back in place. She left, leaving Ava to contemplate what had just taken place between the Queen and herself.

Ava and Mhiari has pulled up camp for the night before travelling onto Vigils keep. Ava found that she had missed the triviality of setting up camp in the last few months, and whilst she had never really liked the chore of setting up camp, she missed the normality of it and took some small comfort in the fact that she was doing it again. They sat down to have a meagre meal of rabbit stew, which Mhiari caught with great difficulty. Although Ava was trained to be a rogue, she never quite got the hang of using a bow, instead opting for a two handed style, using daggers.

'Do you mind telling me how you became a Grey Warden, Commander?' asked Mhiari, snapping Ava back from her thoughts.

'It was through no choice of my own, my family and loved ones were massacred and I was dragged kicking and screaming from my castle, leaving my parents to die on the kitchen floor by the hands of soldiers in the employment of Arl Rendon Howe.' Ava said bitterly. She had managed to push the memory of her parents demise to the back of her mind in her grief over losing Alistair.

'Oh...' was all that Mhiari could find herself saying.

Wincing, Ava cursed herself, she too had been bright eyed and bushy tailed by life as Mhiari was now. 'What about yourself Mhiari?' asked Ava trying to break the awkward silence that had descended over the pair.

'I was in the Queen's service up until I was recruited a month ago by the Orlesian Wardens, but I am yet to take my joining' Mhiari said.

'You must be very talented Mhiari, the Wardens do not pick anyone, they must see something in you above all others, you should be proud of yourself.' Ava stated honestly.

Mhiari gave Ava a modest smile for the unexpected compliment. 'Thank you Commander'.

'Please, call me Ava, I've never been one for formality'. She said, with a sad smile at the thought of Alistair saying that when he became king that he would not conform to the rules of court and there was nothing anyone would be able to do about it because he was king.

'Of course' Mhiari said.

'If you don't mind, I'm going to turn in for the evening, we've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow'. Ava said yawning.

'As you wish, good night Ava'. Mhiari said, giving her a shy smile.

Ava gave a genuine smile back, Mhiari reminded Ava of how she used to be before the blight had taken her from her life. It was the first genuine smile that she had given since Alistair had died. And with a sad longing in her heart, she turned in for the night.

The next morning, Ava woke up to the noise of someone moving around in the camp. It took her a few minutes to realise where she was. She poked her head out of her tent and was welcomed to the sight and smell of Mhiari cooking breakfast and packing away her tent. Mhiari noticing her commander, chuckled at the sight of her long wavy hair tangled in knots around her head. Ava was mortified at the thought of someone she barely knew seeing her in such a state. She had grown accustomed to the luxury that she had been given at Denerim palace the last few months. However, realising that this was probably a sign of things to come, ambled ungracefully from her tent, her body still asleep it seemed.

'Good morning Commander' Mhiari chirped.

'I thought I asked you to call me Ava and what are you so happy about first thing this morning anyway' Ava grumbled.

'Sorry, I forgot, and I'm happy because we are almost at vigils keep, and the thought of being in a proper bed is a good one after last night's sleep on the hard floor'. Mhiari said with glee.

'You have a very good point, there is nothing quite like sleeping in a bed. You don't appreciate a bed until you have been camping'. Ava stated.

They ate their breakfast in companionable silence, before packing up their equipment and getting on the road to vigils keep.

They could see Vigils Keep looming in the distance. It was dark and foreboding. Ava shook her head at the thought, it was just the fact that it was Arl Howe's home before she took his life, it was only her mind playing cruel tricks with her. She was going to have to get over that if this was going to be where the Wardens rebuilt the order.

'This is strange, there is no welcoming party' Mhiari whispered, penetrating into Ava's thoughts. 'There should be a welcoming party to welcome the new Warden Commander' she hissed, panic evident in her voice.

With a sense of dread washing over her, realising that mhiari was right, Ava spoke. 'Maybe they didn't see us arriving.' trying to calm Mhiari, but realising it was herself she was actually kidding.

It was then that they saw a figure running towards them in the distance. Running up to meet the man the pair halted when they realised he was covered in huge amounts of blood.

'Oh, thank goodness Commander, you're here!' he exclaimed when he realised it was Ava, relief in his face.

'What happened man?' Ava said, trying to cover the panic in her voice, she knew there was something terribly wrong at the sight of the man.

'The darkspawn, they came from everywhere, we never had a chance, they caught us unawares, they've killed so many.' He said, sobs racking his body.

It was then that Ava noticed a small group of darkspawn running towards them, they must have been following the man.

'Go man, get yourself to safety and bring help, I think we are going to need it' Ava shouted.

She drew her weapons from her back and charged for the darkspawn. 'For the Grey Wardens!' she cried.

She and Mhiari quickly dispatched the band of darkspawn. It was then, with a sense of utter fear that she felt them. The undeniable tug, the strange pricking feeling at the back of her skull. She could sense the tainted creatures through her own taint coursing through her veins. And the Vigil was crawling with them.


	3. New friends

Chapter 3

They had fought their way valiantly through the courtyard, killing all darkspawn that appeared in their way. They entered the massive gates leading into the keep. Walking into an expansive hallway of the Keep they were greeted with the sight of complete and utter destruction. Despite all of her experience fighting the blight and with the things that she has seen over the past year, Ava was still shocked to see such a sight.

'Oh dear Maker, how did the Wardens not sense this coming?' Mhiari questioned, clearly confused by the situation.

'I don't know, Mhiari.' Ava whispered quietly. 'Do you know how many wardens were here?' Ava couldn't understand it either, the Wardens should have sensed the darkspawn coming.

'I'm not sure, maybe a dozen, but they did bring a contingent of soldiers with them. How were the wardens so easily overwhelmed, how did the darkspawn get in?' Mhiari asked, panicked.

Ava tried to clear her head of troubling thoughts, but, she too was full of questions. However she needed to be realistic, she knew worrying about the situation wasn't going to help. 'I'm not sure, but now is not the time to worry, we will find out, but more importantly, we will defeat the evil bastards.' Ava said trying to reassure Mhiari. Ava was determined she was not going to let the creatures take the vigil, she would die trying if she had to.

Mhiari gave the Commander a small smile, before they were treated to a group of shrieks coming their way. Unsheathing her weapons again, she laid into the shrieks with as much as she could give. Fuelled by the anger that, even though she did not know the people of the keep, they were her brothers and sisters at arms and once again, something has been taken out of her life. After defeating the shrieks they climbed the stairs to their right and entered a small room.

Running into the room, Ava and Mhiari stopped in their tracks at the sight of a mage blasting darkspawn with fire before the creature screeched and fell to the floor. The mage, shaking his hands turned round to look at the two and then turned back round to the devastation in the room. Realising how bad it must have looked to Ava and Mhiari he spoke.

'Errrr...I didn't do it.' he shrugged, hoping that would be enough to explain the bodies in the room.

When neither Ava or Mhiari spoke, he continued.

'I mean, don't get me wrong, you know, I'm not upset they are dead or anything, they make the funniest noises when they die.' he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand in a nervous gesture.

'So not your favourite group of people, I take it?' Ava said finally finding her voice. She had not expected to find any survivors, let alone anyone that was able to defend themselves.

'Some mages enjoy to be punished by templars, me not so much, but I can introduce you if you're into that kind of thing.' he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, smirking at Ava.

Ava would have liked to mirror his humour, but now was not the time. 'May I ask your name, ser mage?' she asked, folding her arms in front of her chest, leaning all her weight on one hip.

'Yes dear lady, you may call me Anders, circle mage and ...unfortunately a wanted apostate.' Anders said, muttering the last part, clearly ashamed at being branded an apostate, allowing his head to dip and his gaze to drop to the floor.

'An apostate, at vigils keep, how unusual.' Mhiari stated.

Anders, spotting Mhiari, looked over her appreciatively. 'You were not here before, I would definitely remember someone as lovely as yourself.' he said, his voice dropping an octave and giving a suggestive smile.

Ava struggled to keep her temper at bay, she found the older she got the harder it was to control herself. And since the events of the blight, she had got worse. 'What are you doing here?' she snapped out.

'We were on our way back to the circle tower when we stopped here for a rest, and now they are dead, such a shame really.' Anders said, and even though his words were remorseful he did not even attempt to hide his contempt.

'Whilst I would love nothing but to chat all day long, I have better things to be doing with my time.' Ava said, losing patience with the mage. She had learnt the hard way how precious time could be in certain situations and she simply did not have time to waste on idle chatter.

'I like the way you think. Tell you what, why don't I help you take these bastards down and then we talk about what happens later...later.' he said, throwing off another of his winning smiles, hoping that this would help his case.

Ava needed to make a decision. She knew the situation with the templars looked dire. But she liked to think she was a practical woman and after seeing the mage in action decided he would be more of a help than a hindrance. 'I think that sounds like a fine plan, and we could use all the help we can get.' she said returning Anders smile.

Ava had been so pleased to see Oghren. She couldn't believe it when she clasped eyes on the sodding dwarf. She had been rooted to the spot with surprise as she watched Oghren's battle axe move in large arcs above his head, slicing darkspawn in two. And then he'd waved at her, which was so like Oghren to do in the middle of battle, and she let out a hearty laugh. When she finally came to her senses, she helped her companions kill the remaining darkspawn.

'Haha, Warden, there yer are, I've been waiting fer ya. When the darkspawn showed up, I thought, just ya wait until the commander gets here, you'll be wearing your insides on the outside when she finds you. And sure enough, follow the trail of dead darkspawn and I find you at the end.' Oghren said, laughing.

'Oghren!' she cried running to him, not caring what the others thought and embracing him in a hug.

After a brief embrace, he brushed her off and said 'Don't want it getting round that I've gotten soft, although it is nice to see that you have finally come to your senses and want a piece of ol' Oghren, hehe.'

Against all odds, Ava and Oghren had become firm friends. Oghren had been the last to join the group that defeated the blight, At first he was closed off and isolated off from the rest of them, with the rest of the group only seeing Oghren as a drunken lout. But Ava knew that Oghren had also suffered loss which was why he turned to drinking, as a way to cover up his pain. Ava would spend time in camp, talking with Oghren, but it was after Ava helped him to find an old flame that the two became close. On the night before the final march to Denerim, Oghren had told Ava that he had to come to see her as family, and Ava told him she felt the same.

'I've missed you Oghren.' she said with genuine affection. Ava had always struggled to hide her emotions and had therefore given up even trying anymore. It felt good to see someone that she knew.

'Aye Warden.' he said, looking misty eyed. 'I thought I would come to the Vigil and try out this Grey Warden business.' Ava was confused. She knew that Oghren was a general in the Queen's army. She had no idea why he would want to be a Grey Warden, she would need to question him further.

'You two know each other?' Mhiari asked clearly shocked at the familiarity between the commander and the dwarf.

'Well, if it's not the Warden with the great rack.' Oghren said, gesturing with his hands on his chest.

'Yes, a prize for the wardens to be sure, thank you.' Mhiari said dryly, disgusted with the dwarf's attitude.

'Yer welcome. And who's the mage, boyfriend of yers, should I be jealous?' Oghren chuckled, leaning casually against a pillar, folding his arms and ankles.

'Wow, what a rarity, a dwarf who smells like a brewery.' Anders replied sarcastically.

'Alright sparkle fingers, keep your skirt on.' Oghren said.

'Hey, it's not a skirt, it's a robe, all mages wear them.' Anders said defensively, looking at his attire, patting it down to make sure there was nothing wrong with it.

'Suuuureeee, you just keep telling yourself that sweetheart.' Oghren grinned, clearly enjoying antagonising the mage.

Suppressing the urge to laugh at the pair, Ava thought she should put an end to the banter and finally said 'Oghren, you do realise there are risks to the joining?' letting her voice take on a serious tone to let Orghren know joining the wardens was not a matter to be taken lightly.

Oghren stopped leaning on the pillar and stood up, straightening his back. He seemed slightly offended that Ava thought that he didn't know how important this was. 'Bah, what's life without a little risk in it, you know me Warden, I piss on risk.' Oghren said.

'Lovely, I'm sure risk really appreciates that.' Anders retorted.

But Oghren didn't rise to the bait, he knew the commander well enough to know she would soon lose her temper. 'Shall we be on our way, I'm itching to introduce the darkspawn to my axe.'

And with a nod from Ava, the small group were on their way. Even though the situation in the keep was awful, Ava found herself enjoying listening to her companions chatting amongst themselves. She could hear Anders and Oghren bantering with each other, before finally ganging up against Mhiari and making lewd comments to her. Ava allowed herself a private smile at the group. They reached a slim corridor and as they were making their way through it, they saw a body slumped up against a wall.

'Roland!' Mhiari shouted, anguish in her voice and ran off to the side of the solider on the floor, taking his hand.

'Mhiari, is that you?' the soldier asked, pain etched across his face. Ava looked at the man with pity, he didn't look like he would like he would last much longer. She gave Anders a questioning look, but he just shook his head.

'Yes, it's me Roland. What happened to you?' Mhiari asked gently, rubbing his hand in her own, in a soothing manner.

'We were attacked by darkspawn, they came from nowhere. Seneschal Varel ordered the counter attack, but we were soon overwhelmed. The darkspawn who talked took the seneschal up to the top of the vigil.' Roland managed to splutter out, his face grimacing.

'What, a talking darkspawn?' Ava asked in disbelief, thinking the lad to be delirious, already dismissing what he had said to the back of her mind.

' You're the commander.' Roland said, more as a statement than a question.

'Yes Roland.' Ava said.

'It was an honour to meet you commander.' Roland said, pride in his eyes.

'The honour is all mine Roland.' Ava said respectfully, and even though time was short she was not so shallow as to ignore a dying man.

Roland let out an anguished cry 'There is something in my blood.' And with his last words, he slipped away still holding Mhiari's hand.

'I will avenge you my friend, you have my word.' Mhiari said, showing the first kind of real emotion since Ava had met her.

Ava placed a gentle hand on Mhaiari's shoulder. 'His death will be avenged,' she said softly 'but we have to move on.' She knew how important it was to mourn a loved one, but she also knew they had a duty to perform first and foremost.

Mhiari nodded at her Commander and they continued through the vigil. Battling their way through more groups of darkspawn, they finally made it to the top of the keep. As they were about to turn the corner, they heard voices. Ava hesitated and peered round around the wall. Ava spotted a darkspawn like no other she has ever seen. He was slowly approaching a soldier who was backing away from the creature, glancing behind him, acutely aware of the impending drop behind him.

'It is just as he foretold.' the darkspawn said in a rasping voice and with that, he kicked his foot into the soldier before him and pushed him over the edge of the battlement onto the sharp spikes below.

Ava could not comprehend what she had just heard, Roland hadn't been confused after all. The darkspawn truly was talking, she realised with a sense of dread. Darkspawn do not talk! she thought, fear taking hold of her heart.

'Be taking this one gently, we are wishing no more death than is necessary.' he said to a darkspawn holding a dagger to the neck of the man kneeling on the floor, who Ava could only assume was Varel.

'Necessary? As if your kind has ever done anything else.' Varel ground out bitterly, sweat beading on his forehead.

'You are thinking you know of our kind human? It is understandable. But that will soon be changed.' the darkspawn rasped out.

'Others will come creature, they will stop you.' Varel warned, but Ava could almost smell the fear in the older man.

Unable to watch anymore, Ava led the group on to the battlements to make her presence known to the talking darkspawn, who turned to face Ava. 'It seems your words are true, more than you are guessing.'

Anders stating the obvious said 'It is talking.'

'Well, let's shut it up already.' Oghren growled out, already brandishing his axe in his hands.

'Commander!' Varel said with relief.

'Capture the Grey Warden. These others, they may be killed.' the creature said smiling in an eerie manner that chilled Ava to the bone. She decided that she did not like the sound of the last part. Drawing her weapons, she made for the creature. After a short but tiring battle, the talking darkspawn was dispatched with. Ava still in a state of shock finally paid attention to Varel, who was still kneeling on the floor.

'Varel?' she asked 'Are you okay?'

' I have been better commander, but thank you for saving my life. I would have been dragged off by now if it hadn't have been for your timely arrival.' Varel said with gratitude.

Frowning, Ava wanted to question Varel further, but was cut short by the approaching sound of soldiers marching. Looking out into the distance, she spotted the royal banner followed by the queen and her royal entourage. Fantastic, Ava thought, just to top off an amazing day, Anora is here.


	4. A royal visit

Chapter Four

All Ava really wanted to do was to take a long, hot bath after the welcome she had received at the Vigil, but knowing that her duty needed doing, she had no choice but to go and greet the queen. She could not help the small slither of jealousy that gripped her when she saw the queen looking beautiful, dressed in all her finery and Ava was there covered in blood, her face marked with dirt and her hair was plastered to her head. Even though she had spent months covered in darkspawn blood, she had spent years as a noble and it was a hard habit to get rid of. It didn't help when Anora threw Ava a smirk at the sight of her. Ava kneeled down in front of the queen, showing her respect followed by Varel amd Mhiari.

'I see there has been some trouble, commander.' Anora said, clasping her hands in front of her lap, slipping her regal mask into place. 'We met a soldier on the road, he said the Vigil was under attack from darkspawn. We came to offer assistance but I do believe the matter is under control?'

'Yes your highness.' Ava said in a weary voice, standing up from her kneeling position to look at Anora.

'The darkspawn has been taken care of your majesty.' Varel said in a formal tone, but still in a thick accecent. 'Any darkspawn that were remaining have fled underground. The Orlesian Wardens at the keep have either perished or are missing.'

Ava looked at Varel. She frowned and her she pursed her lips in thought. She knew something terrible had happened to Orlesian Wardens but knowing that they had been potentially taken was extremely disturbing, and it posed some new questions about the darkspawn.

As if Anora read her thoughts, she spoke 'Do darkspawn even do that?'

'I'm not sure your majesty, all I know is that not all the Wardens cannot be accounted for.' Varel said, shaking his head.

'We need to find out what is going on, the darkspawn should have gone back underground when the Archdemon was defeated.' Ava said with some confusion. She was lead to believe at the end of a blight, the darkspawn retreated back to the deeproads, but that was clearly not the case here.

'I wish I could be of more help to you, but I had originally only set out to give you a formal welcome so I can be of no use. I'm afraid you're on your own.' Anora said with genuine regret.

'Hey, she's not on her own, she's got me!' Oghren all but shouted out, offended by the queen's words.

'Ah yes, the dwarf who spends more time drinking than talking. No need to worry, Thedas will be safe after all.' Anders said, his voice laced in sarcasm.

Pretending that Anders had not spoken, Oghren continued. 'I came here to join up, Warden. Point me to the giant cup, I will rinse and spit.'

Ava looked at Oghren affectionately, amusement twinkling in her eyes. She thought for a moment, but it didn't take long to make a decision. 'I don't think you're allowed to spit Oghren, but we would be honoured to have you.'

'I knew you wouldn't let me down, Warden.' Oghren said, mirroring Ava's affection, then quickly trying to cover it up, embarrassed that he let his emotions show so easily in company.

'The wardens welcome all.' Mhiari said looking at the floor, as if trying to remind herself that all are equal in the wardens.

As if thinking out loud Anders spoke. 'A warden? Good luck with that!'

Ava turned her attention to a female templar at the side of Anora stepping towards Anders with a look of pure hatred. It didn't take long for Anders to see the templar and his face visibly drained of all colour, his hands becoming clammy. 'Where are the templars that came to pick you up Anders?' she asked in voice that barely contained her anger.

'Dead.' he simply said with some satisfaction.

She flashed Anders a murderous glare. 'Your Majesty, this mage is a wanted apostate. He was being brought back to the circle tower. He must have murdered those templars.'

Anders looked as though he was going to say something in reply but was cut short by Ava.

'I would like to correct your assumptions ser templar, those templars accompanying Anders were killed by darkspawn. Anders helped me take back the Vigil from those evil creatures.' Ava said, narrowing her eyes at the other woman, struggling to keep her voice even. She did not like the way the templar was speaking to Anders.

The templar, as if seeing Ava for the first time blinked at her, shocked. 'Even so, this mage is an apostate and must be brought back to the circle for justice.' the templar eventually said, determined that she was not going to let Anders out of her sight.

'Ha, justice, when have you templars ever known anything about justice?' Anders shouted angrily, never taking his gaze from the templar.

'I suppose that is the end of the matter, unless you have anything to say commander?' asked Anora, looking at Ava.

Ava looked back at Anora and saw the hidden meaning in her eyes. Taking the opportunity Ava said confidently, 'I do your highness, I hereby conscript this mage into the Grey Wardens.'

'Never!' the templar shouted, outraged. 'I will see you hanged for your crimes _mage._' the templar sneered believing to have the final word on the matter.

'Rylock, stand down.' Anora said, with an almost bored expression on her face. 'I believe the Grey Wardens still hold the right of conscription in Ferelden. I'm going to allow it, it's what Cailan would have done.'

'Yyy...yes your majesty, if you believe it is best.' was all Rylock could say.

Ava turned round to speak with Anders who has a satisfied smirk on his face. 'The same warning goes for you as well Anders, the joining does not come without risks. I can't say too much, but you could die.' Ava said the last part as almost a whisper.

'Hmmmm.' Anders said in mock contemplation. 'Go with the crazy templar and die for definite or go with the commander and maybe live. I'm not sure, it's such a tough decision.' he said sarcastically. 'The only thing swinging in your favour commander, is that you're far prettier than the templar.' he grinned.

'Ha, the more the merrier.' Oghren butted in.

Mhiari, the only one still with any formality left said 'Welcome ser mage, I look forward to fighting by your side.' and bowed respectfully to Anders.

Anora looked at the small group with some amusement before saying, 'I believe that everything is settled then. I will take my leave of you now. I wish you the best of luck in the times to come commander.'

And with that the queen left with her soldiers, walking back down the road away from Vigil's keep. The small group began to head back into the keep.

'A word if you may commander?' Varel asked. 'I just wanted to let you know I am here to help you with the everyday running of the arling of Amaranthine and the maintenance of the keep.'

'The arling and the keep belong to the wardens Varel.' Ava stated, glancing at the older man, not really grasping what Varel was telling her.

'With all due respect, you are the commander and will therefore be seen as the arlessa.' Varel said.

Ava stopped walking and scowled. The thought had never even crossed her mind. No wonder Anora had wanted her take the arling. Anora needed someone to replace Arl Howe and with her noble blood she would be the perfect person. Anora could then hand over Amaranthine as though it was for the wardens, gaining her support from the people who saw the wardens as nothing as heroes. Anora also knew that Ava would have refused to take the arling with the wardens being her first priority. Ava rubbed her eyes with the heels of her palms. She had been taken for a ride and she had fallen for it hook line and sinker. How could she be so foolish. Unable to find an excuse for her stupidness, she continued contemplating. She supposed every cloud had a silver lining. Ava had not come away with nothing, she did have somewhere to rebuild the Grey Wardens. Ava could still only respect the queen, she was damn good at her job.

'I know you have had a tough day commander, but there are lots of thing to discuss. There is also the matter of the joining to prepare for.' Varel said apologetically. 'Please come and seek me out when you have settled in. I will send have a servant show you to your rooms.'

Following the servant to her room she could only look forward to getting out of her disgusting armour and having a long soak in a bath. She felt bad for asking the servants to bring her hot water, they too had had a traumatic time at the keep, but she needed to make herself look presentable for the joining. She peeled her armour off and placed it in a pile on the floor to be cleaned later and lowered herself into the bath. She let the feeling of warmth wash over her and finally felt herself relaxing. Her mind began wondering and she soon found her thoughts going to Alistair. He should have been the one to welcome the new wardens to the keep, not Anora. And even though she had Oghren with her and Mhiari and Anders seemed like wonderful people she felt completely alone. She wished more than ever Alistair was still here. She knew that he would be able to make her feel better and help her with the pressures of managing the Grey Wardens as well as the arling. Even though she promised herself she would not shed anymore tears, she could not stop them as they began to fall.


	5. The joining

Chapter 5

Varel had prepared the joining ritual much to Ava's relief. She was unsure how he knew how to do it, but surmised that he had learnt from the Orlesian Wardens. She would need to learn how to do it herself if she was to be commander of the Grey. They had gathered in the Keeps main room and there was a brazier burning in the middle giving it an almost eerie look as shadows danced around the walls. She looked at each of her companions. She could see different emotions in each of their faces, fear, honour, pride. And as her eyes settled on Oghren's face, what was that she saw, boredom? She had to fight to suppress the chuckled that was trying to escape, she needed to be serious at such a time.

'Varel, I would like to begin the joining.' Ava said donning her formal face that she knew how to wear so well.

'As you wish Commander.' Varel said, mirroring her formality, standing with his arms behind his back and his feet slightly apart.

Ava cleared her throat and help her head up, chin raised. She knew it was honour to speak the next passage. 'I shall speak the words that have been spoken since the first. Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand, vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be foresworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten and that one day we shall join you.' She felt a pang of sadness as she realised the last person she heard saying these words were Alistair at her own joining. 'Oghren, from this moment forth, you are a Grey Warden.'

Oghren eyed the cup suspiciously. Thinking that he was going to ask her what was in the cup, he surprised her and said 'What the sodding hell is this warden? Is this all ya get? Are you making fun of my size?' he asked.

'Oghren!' she cried 'Just drink the bloody stuff!' although not surprised by his behaviour at such an honourable event.

'Huh, if ya say so.' And with that he took a deep sip. Ava's heart leapt into her mouth, worried for the dwarf. She needn't be though, he belched, his eyes turned white and stated that the drink 'Ain't half bad.' She had not expected him to take the taint so well, but then shrugged her shoulders. The darkspawn blood probably wasn't as bad as some of the substances the dwarf had drunk in his lifetime. She was relieved that at least Oghren had made it through.

Varel shifted his feet at the side of her. 'Oh maker.' he muttered rolling his eyes, but the amusement was evident in his face.

She turned to face Anders, and she could see his fear. 'From this moment forth, Anders, you are a Grey Warden.'

'I just need to drink darkspawn blood, and that's it, I'm a Grey Warden?' Anders said, dubiously.

'It's that simple.' She stated, trying her best to give him a reassuring smile but struggling, because she was anything but sure herself.

'Alright.' he said, doubt in his voice. 'But I hope to wake up with you tending to my every whim and desire.' he said, grinning, unable to let the opportunity pass to say something suggestive.

Ava was unable to stop the groan that escaped her lips. 'Anders...' she warned. She wanted to try and keep this event formal and knew she was failing miserably with Oghren and Anders.

'Okay, okay.' he smirked before his face took on a serious look and then he tipped his head back and drank from the chalice.

His eyes rolled into the back of his head before flipping back into place and they turned white. Ava inhaled sharply as he collapsed to the floor in a heap. Varel rushed to his side.

'The mage lives, he is safe and will awaken with time.' Varel said, holding two fingers against the mage's neck, feeling for a pulse.

Ava felt a flutter of excitement in her chest, two recruits made it through and they had yet to get to Mhiari who was strongest by far. She could only pray to the maker at this point.

'Mhiari, from this moment forth, you are a Grey Warden.' Ava said, looking the other woman in the eyes. She really hoped Mhiari made it, it would be good to have another woman in the wardens.

'I have awaited this is an honour.' Mhiari said simply before taking a sip from the cup.

Ava smiled sadly. Alistair would have liked Mhiari, she held the Grey Wardens in high esteem. The smile was soon quickly wiped from her face and replaced with a look of horror. Mhiari clutched at her throat as she chocked, unable to take a breath. She fell to the floor. Varel kneeled to her side, checking for a pulse and shook his head at Ava.

'I'm sorry Mhiari, may the maker watch over you.' Varel said respectfully, bowing his head.

Ava felt her shoulders slump in defeat and cursed herself for allowing her hopes to be raised. But she was slightly angry too, was it too much to ask for them all to survive. But she already knew the answer to that question. Fighting the tears that were attempting to escape her eyes she spoke. 'Varel, would you be able to arrange for a pyre, I want a proper funeral for her, she deserves no less.' Even though Ava had not known the other woman long, she felt saddened by the loss.

'Of course Commander. I will do that right away.'

Varel called some servants who took Mhiari's body away until the time of the funeral. Varel and Ava moved Anders to a room and placed him on a bed, whilst Oghren made himself familiar with the wine cellar of the keep. Ava was dog tired, but she wanted to be there when Anders woke up, just as Alistair and Duncan had been there for her. It didn't take long for Anders to awaken.

'How are you feeling?' Ava asked gently, perching herself on the edge of the bed, folding her hands in her lap.

Anders looked up at Ava and said 'I won't lie, I have felt better.' Anders allowed his eyes to flicker to Ava's face and asked 'Did Mhiari make it?'

Ava was still upset about Mhairi and simply shook her head in response. Anders didn't say anything in reply and just stared up towards the ceiling. They sat there for a few minutes in silence, each in their own thoughts before Ava spoke up. 'Anders, there are things you need to know, side effects of the joining.' It was not a conversation she was looking forward to but it was necessary.

'Uh oh, this doesn't sound good.' Anders said in a sing song voice.

'It's not, I'm afraid.' Ava said, unable to meet his sky blue eyes. 'Firstly Grey Wardens only have thirty years to live, give or take before we feel our calling. That is when our bodies are unable to take the taint anymore and we venture down to the deeproads to kill as many darkspawn as we can, before dying in battle.' trying to break the news as gently as she could. She remembered how crushed she had felt when she had found this piece of priceless information.

But to her surprise Anders said 'It's thirty years that I get to live away from the tower in freedom.' she glanced at him from the corner of her eye and could only see honesty in his eyes.

'You see this as freedom, being tied to service?' she asked curiously, frowning at the thought. She had only ever seen this as duty.

Anders closed his eyes again. 'Until you've been locked up in a tower all your life, unable to leave, being told you are worthless and knowing the world beyond the tower fears and despises you, you will not understand.' he said quietly, his usual jovial tone, gone from his voice.

Ava remembered the dark, oppressive circle tower across the lake. She saw how the mages were treated and knew how that could drain even the most happiest of souls. 'No. I suppose you're right. But if it makes you feel any better, I don't fear and despise you. And all Wardens are treated as equals amongst their brothers and sisters at arms, so you have no reason to feel like an outcast here.' she said, with empathy.

He gave her a small smile. 'You said there were other side effects to the joining?' he said trying to change the subject.

'Yes, unfortunately' she said ploughing on. She knew if she did not tell him now, she did not have the guts to have this conversation in the future. 'The taint makes it nearly impossible to have children, so do not expect to become a father soon.' allowing her eyes to settle on his face to see how he would take such news.

A brief look of loss flashed over his face. 'That's not so bad, being a parent is another form of imprisonment.' he simply said.

'I suppose that is one way of looking at it.' Ava wished she had taken the news of never being a mother as well as Anders. In her eyes, it was just another thing that had been taken away from her. 'Also, you will notice that your appetite will increase, you will be hungry all the time.' she said seriously.

'So that's what that feeling is in my stomach, I thought it was trying to eat itself.' he chuckled.

'You may be laughing now, but just wait until we're on the road with little to no food, not so much fun then.' Even though there was no humour in her words she found herself laughing along with Anders, his humour infectious. 'But on a lighter note, they say that Grey Wardens have increased stamina.' she said trying to take the edge off her negative words.

'Is that so? Maybe we should see how many times we can make mad, passionate love and test that theory?' he said winking at her.

She was unable to stop the blush from creeping up her face. 'Maybe another time Anders. But for now I should go and check on Oghren, make sure he's not drank the place dry.' she said, groaning at the thought of the drunken dwarf ransacking the place when he ran out of alcohol.

'I will hold you to that. And yes, somehow I don't even think a brewery would have enough booze for our dwarven friend.'

'Goodbye Anders.'

'Goodbye Commander, and thank you.'

Ava closed the door leaving Anders trying to remember the last time he had felt this happy.

All Ava wanted to do now was to lay her head down on a pillow and sleep, any pillow would do as long as it was soft, but she knew Varel was probably desperate to speak to her now the joining was out of the way. She headed down to main room to find Varel talking to two people animatedly. She assumed they were arguing. Upon getting nearer to the trio, she was right.

'The Commander should be informed about the entrance to the deeproads, it could be the darkspawn's base of operations.' the man with blonde wavy hair said.

'Ha, how can darkspawn have a base of operations, you make them sound like an organised military unit!' An older woman with grey hair, scraped back from her face in two braids curled around her head, scoffed. 'You would have her chasing a rumour. And besides, even if it were true, pilgrims path must be cleared first. By the time you had gathered your armies to deal with the darkspawn threat, they would have nothing to eat but fresh air!'

Varel put his hands up in front of him as a gesture for quiet. 'I understand your concerns, but the commander has had a demanding day, much has happened in the keep.' Varel finally spotted Ava. 'Mistress Woolsey, Captain Garevel, we have company. May I introduce you to the Commander.'

Ava discussed matters of importance with Woolsey and Garevel, learning about problems with trade and about an entrance discovered by two hunters, leading to the deeproads. Woolsey and Garevel were dismissed from the main room.

'It has been a long and tiring day for both of us commander, there are matters of importance to discuss but I believe they can wait.' Varel said wearily.

'That is the best thing I've heard all day Varel.' Ava replied, offering him a smile.

Varel returned her smile and they both exited the main hall for their own rooms. On the way back to his room Varel sank into his own thoughts. He wasn't sure about the new commander. She was young, and had little experience with managing an arling, he knew he had his job cut out for him. But there was one thing Varel was certain of. He liked Ava a heck of a lot more than Rendon Howe.


	6. The prisoner

Chapter 6

Ava felt good after her first night at the keep. She didn't think she was going to manage to sleep, but as soon as her head hit the pillow, she was out. She had decided that there was plenty to do out in the field, but she needed to catch up with things in the keep first. And she needed to do some training. She hadn't done any whilst she stayed in Denerim after the blight, and her body was stiff and aching this morning from using muscles that hadn't been used for months. If she was to be going to be fighting darkspawn she needed to be at her best.

She headed out to find Varel, he had mentioned last night that he had things that needed addressing and she figured this would be a good a start as any. She found him in a small office, which was cluttered full of papers strewn all over the desk in messy piles. Ava could not understand how people could work in so much disorder.

'Please sit down.' Varel said motioning for a chair opposite him. Ava looked at the chair, this too had been used as a shelf for papers. She shuffled them into a neat pile and placed them on the desk before taking a seat.

'I know you are busy commander, I do not wish to take up to much of your time, so I will get straight to the point. The first matter is that as you know, all the Wardens sent from Orlais are either dead or missing. Except one.' Varel said, pausing to let the information sink in.

Ava's head snapped up, giving the seneschal her full attention. She believed there was no one left, her heart began thumping in her chest at the news. 'What do you mean?'

'The wardens were uneasy about the darkspawn remaining above ground and sent one of their men off to investigate.'

'Where did he go, Varel?'

'He headed off to Amaranthine about a fortnight ago.'

'Amaranthine is a large city, have you any more specific details.' Ava said, hope building within her. It was wonderful news that there was another experienced warden still left in Ferelden.

'The Wardens never told me what they were looking for, but you could ask at the inn in Amaranthine city, they are popular places amongst travellers.' Varel said helpfully.

'Thank you Varel, I understand that there are other matters which Garavel and Woolsey mentioned, but I believe this to be a priority. I wish to leave as soon as possible.' she said, using her hands to push up from the chair, turning to leave.

'Just one more thing Commander. Some of the Wardens caught a thief skulking around the keep. They would have dealt with him sooner if the darkspawn hadn't have attacked. But now, the responsibility falls to you. Be careful with the prisoner, it took four Grey Wardens to contain him and he gave one of them a black eye in the process.' Varel said, the warning clear.

Interesting, Ava thought. He must be more than a simple thief if the wardens struggled to capture him. She knew that the matter could wait until she got back from investigating where Kristoff had gone, but she was curious and was unable to leave the matter alone.

'I would like to see the prisoner, see what he has to say for himself before I leave.'

'Yes Commander, if you see Laurel across the courtyard, by the metal door, he will let you into the dungeons.'

Ava headed across the courtyard. She couldn't help but shudder at the memory of the dungeon that they found in Arl Howe's estate in Denerim. The place had been completely and utterly disgusting. She could still hear the cries of anguish coming from the prisoners, the smell of death and disease in the air. The place had been a place filled with torture and pain. The guards had haunted her dreams for weeks, the pure pleasure they gained from torturing prisoners, evident on their faces. It was one just one more excuse to rid Thedas of Arl Rendon Howe in her eyes.

She introduced herself to the guard. 'I'm here to see the prisoner.' Ava said with a polite smile.

She was pleased to see the dungeon of the keep to be clean and modest, not at all what she had been expecting. There were no devices of torture in this place. It was more like the dungeon that her parents had kept in Highever, only there to detain prisoners and nothing else. She smiled to herself at the memory of her parents, but the smile was soon wiped off her face as her eyes found the prisoner.

She stopped in her tracks when she saw him. There was no mistaking it. His raven black hair, pulled back away from his face in two braids, joined at the back of his head, longer than she remembered it. Strands of his hair had come loose from the braids, falling on his face, pale in comparison to his dark hair. His grey eyes, the same colour as steel, topped off with long dark eyelashes. His strong jaw line, set in the same determined line as always. A patch of facial hair under his bottom lip, which had not been there before. The 'prisoner' was Nathaniel Howe.

Ava tried to control her temper at the thought of the retched Arl Rendon Howe, but seeing Nathaniel brought back all the painful memories of Highever. She wanted to do nothing more than to just turn round and let him rot. But she knew this was not possible. She would be shirking her duty if she did that, she had to deal with the problem. Unsure of how to approach Nathaniel, she made her way slowly to the prison cell. He raised his head at the sound of footsteps approaching his cell, his eyes settling on hers, recognition immediately reached his face.

Nathaniel remained seated, his forearms resting on his knees, but his muscles became tense at the sight of her. 'Well, if it isn't Ava Cousland, hero of Ferelden come to see me.' he sneered, not even bothering to hide the hate in his voice. 'I expected you to be much more fearsome, with the way the bards sing about you.'

She smirked in his direction, raising a finely sculpted eyebrow. 'Oh, I don't know, I think the Archdemon could tell you how fearsome I really am.' she said, with a hint of smugness in her voice.

His nostrils flared in anger 'I know what you really are, you're no hero, you're nothing but a murderer! You killed my father.' he growled, his voice taking on a menacing tone.

She was seething at the accusation. 'I did what I had to Nathaniel. He slaughtered my family and friends, my father, my mother, Orianna and little Oren, nothing will erase the memory of seeing everyone I cared about dead, by the hand of the man you call father.I had every right!' she ranted, unable to contain the anger welling up inside her.

'Your family were conspiring with the Orlesians, they were undoing all the work that my father, Teryn Mac Tir and King Maric did for this country.' he yelled, standing from the floor to his full height.

'Open your eyes you fool.' She hissed. 'My family would never conspire with the Orlesians, they also fought alongside King Maric in the rebellion. Your father killed mine because he wanted more than he deserved.'

'You're the reason my family has lost everything.' Nathaniel said, his voice shaking with emotion. He moved towards the bars of the cell and gripped the door, his knuckles turning white. He closed his eyes and rested his head on the bars.

'No Nathaniel, your father is the reason that both our families lost everything.' Ava said sadly, struggling with her own emotions.

'You want to know something? I was caught stealing, I wanted to get back some of the possessions that my family owned. But that wasn't my plan, I originally came here to kill you, I wanted nothing but to see your head roll for what you did to my father . But in the end I couldn't follow through with it. If I killed you, it would make me no better than you.' he said bitterly, finally opening his eyes to look at Ava.

Ava took a sharp intake of breath, shocked by what Nathaniel had said to her, his words hitting their intended mark. She had often thought this herself. Had she done the right thing by ending Howe's life? Granted, he didn't give her much choice, he would have killed her. But on the other hand, she never really gave him the option of surrendering either. Deep down Ava knew she killed him for revenge. She did exactly what she told her father that she would do on his deathbed, that she would seek vengeance. And she ended his life with the Cousland family heirloom, the longsword that she took from the family treasury to remind Howe, exactly why she took his life.

Ava was angry, but she didn't really know why. All she knew was that her anger was directed at Nathaniel and it took only a split second before she knew exactly what she wanted to do with him.

'Tsk, tsk tsk, caught stealing, exactly how should I punish you Nathaniel.' Ava said mockingly 'Varel tells me that it took four Grey Wardens just to get you into that cell, that is no easy feat, I assure you.'

'I am fully expecting you to hang me.' he said, with honest sincerity in his voice. Ava was momentarily surprised, she had fully expected him to beg her for his life.

'Oh no, Nathaniel, I have something much more _fun_ than hanging up my sleeve for you.' she said in a low sing song voice, making it hard for Nathaniel to miss the thinnly veiled threat of her words. 'Guard, would you please bring Varel for me?' her tone changing entirely when speaking to the guard..

'Yes commander, right away.' the guard said as he jogged off.

In the few minutes that it took the guard to get Varel, Ava never took her emerald eyes off Nathaniel's steely grey ones. But looking into his eyes, her mind couldn't help but wonder to a happier time when they were all younger. Ava and Fergus, the Cousland children and Nathaniel, Thomas and Delilah, the Howe children. They spent many summers at the Highever castle playing together.

One summer in particular came into Ava's mind. They were playing a game of hide and seek. Ava had decided to hide in some hay in the stables. It was probably an easy place to find her, but she didn't really care, it was shaded from the hot summer sun. And she was right, it didn't take long for Thomas to find her.

'_Ah ha, I found you! I can see your head poking out from behind the hay.' Thomas said with glee._

_Ava giggled 'You're just too good for me, but just 'cause you found me, doesn't mean I have to come out.'_

'_We'll see about that!' Thomas laughed, launching himself at her behind the hay._

_They spent some time wrestling each other, each trying to outmanoeuvre the other. Before long Thomas managed to catch Ava unaware and flipped her on her back on the hay._

_Ava blushed under the scrutiny of Thomas' stare. 'Ava, you are beautiful.' Thomas said sincerely._

_Ava chuckled nervously before Thomas leant down to kiss her. What started as a chaste kiss, soon turned into one with passion. Thomas slipped his tongue into her mouth, teasing her own with his. Ava had never kissed anyone before, but she found that she enjoyed it. It was then that they heard someone calling their names._

'_Thomas, Ava are you in here?' a masculine voice shouted._

_They stopped kissing and looked up to see Nathaniel glowering at them from the stable door. Ava wasn't quite sure what she saw flash in Nathaniel's eyes, but quickly pushed it to the back of her mind, just as she pushed Thomas from her._

'_We've been looking for you.' Nathaniel said in an even voice 'supper is ready.' and without another word he left._

Ava and Thomas had been 15, Nathaniel had been 17. Ava realised that she didn't spend any time with Nathaniel after that, he and Fergus saying they were too old to play with them anymore and then not long after Nathaniel was sent to squire in the free marches.

'I see you have met our prisoner.' Varel said gruffly, dragging Ava away from her memories.

'Yes, did you know he's Nathaniel Howe?' Ava said, hiding all emotion from her voice.

'Ah, that would explain a lot then.' Varel said, frowning at himself for not recognizing the man sooner.

'Do not talk about me as if I am not here.' Nathaniel said with venom in his voice.

'Have you made a decision commander?' asked Varel, eager to settle the matter.

'Indeed I have Varel.' Ava said, with an air of superiority. ' I wish to invoke the right of conscription.' she finished, smirking at the look on Nathaniel's face.

'No! You cannot do that! Send me to the gallows, I would rather die.' Nathaniel shouted, angry with Ava for suggesting such a thing.

'Are you sure that is wise, commander? Varel asked, clearly disapproving of her decision.

'Yes, I am quite sure, it took four Wardens to get him here and I know for a fact that he is not without useful skills.' she answered, trying to justify her decision before turning to Nathaniel. 'And I do believe that I can conscript you as is my right as a grey warden. And I would be very careful what you wish for _warden_ Howe, it may just come true.' she said, unable to hide the grin of satisfaction at the look of pure horror on his face before turning away.

As Ava walked away from the cell, she cannot shake the feeling that she conscripted him out of spite, and she knows Alistair would not approve. But she doesn't care, it felt too good.


	7. Hatred

Chapter 7

Ava spent the rest of the day training and in a bad mood before heading to bed. When Ava awoke the next morning, she was exhausted. She had spent most of the night tossing and turning unable to shake away troubling thoughts. Upon seeing Nathaniel, she was unable to get the images of the fateful night at Highever out of the forefront of her mind. She thought that she was coping with the death of her family well, it had been months since they had died, but it had become apparent she was still not over it.

And what on Thedas was she thinking by conscripting Nathaniel anyway. Her mind had been clouded by anger and she had made a serious error of judgement. She could see that now the red mist had cleared. It was too late to take back the conscription though. If she did that, people would not trust her to be able to make any coherent decisions and would decide she was not fit to be commander, never mind arlessa.

Even though it was early and most of the keep weren't up yet, she decided she needed to be doing something productive instead of just lying in bed, waiting for the sun to rise. She dressed in a simple cotton tunic and linen trousers, deciding she wouldn't need her armour today. She had promised Varel she was going to sit in her office and attempt to tackle the mountain of paperwork that had gathered before Nathaniel's joining. At least it would give her mind something to do instead of torturing her with unpleasant thoughts and memories. But, she decided, first things first, food was the most important matter to hand.

She made her way to the kitchen, getting lost a few times on the way. As soon as she entered the room, she spotted the bread sat onto of the counter. Never taking her eyes away from the culinary delight, she made her way further into the kitchen.

'I see you couldn't sleep either.' a voice said, gruffly.

Ava jumped out of her skin, her eyes skimming the room, finally finding a figure partially hidden by shadows. 'Oghren, you fool, you made me jump!' she said, her heart slowing down, realising there was no actual danger. 'What are you doing here?'

'The same thing you are I suspect.' he said, taking a large swig out of a chalice.

'I highly doubt that.' she said, looking at the chalice, she had a sneaking suspicion that wasn't water. 'I was on my way to do some paperwork, but I thought that it would be sensible to get something to eat first.'

'Sensible? I don't think you know the meaning of the word warden.' Oghren said cryptically, something was clearly troubling him.

Ava bristled at the comment. 'What's that supposed to mean?'

'What were you thinking woman? Conscripting the son of the man who killed your entire family.' he said shaking his head.

'He will be useful Oghren, it took four wardens to get him in the cell and he has skills.' she said defensively, folding her arms across her chest.

'You can't fool me, I know you too well to know that when you get angry, you do stupid things.' he said sternly, raising an eyebrow.

'I don't have to answer myself to you.' she answered, not willing to back down and admit she was wrong.

'Suit yourself.' he replied, annoyed that she would not listen, she was a stubborn woman.

Ava went for the bread, carving herself a few slices and rummaging around, finding some cheese to go with it before stomping off to her office. She was in a worse mood than before which she didn't think was possible. She spent the next few hours looking over the correspondence that Varel had piled for her in her office. She rubbed her head in her hands. She had only been at the keep two days and already she was crumbling under the responsibility. There was a tap at her office door.

'Come in.' She answered, wearily.

'Commander. I am just here to inform you that I am ready to perform Nathaniel's joining if you would like to assist.' Varel said, his head visible from around the door.

Ava had a heavy feeling in her stomach, she was dreading this moment. She quickly straightened her papers out and followed Varel to the main hall, her feet not seeming to want to take her there. She watched as Varel and a mage prepared the joining, struggling to concentrate on their words. An idea skittered across her mind, she had a little knowledge about poisons, she could easily slip some into the cup, would it be so bad? But the thought quickly slipped away, she was not that type of person.

It didn't take long before the concoction was completed. Varel sent for Nathaniel to be brought from his room. He entered, his back as straight as a rod. He didn't even acknowledge Ava, but she could see he was tense and angry. Ava allowed Varel to speak the words for the joining, unable to do them herself.

'From this moment on, Nathaniel, you are a grey warden.' Varel said, placing the chalice into Nathaniel's hands.

Nathaniel took the cup from Varel before looking at Ava. She was taken aback by how much hatred was in his eyes. He didn't say a word before he took a large gulp from the cup. His eyes turned the trademark white and he collapsed on the floor in a heap. Varel did his part and knelt next to Nathaniel, feeling for his pulse.

'He lives commander, I am surprised, he must be much stronger than he looks.' Varel said, looking at Ava from the corner of his eyes.

Ava felt a sinking feeling in her heart. She had secretly hoped he would not make it. It was soon replaced with guilt for thinking such terrible thoughts.

'Please take him to his room, I will wish to speak to him when he awakens.' Ava said, her voice flat, even though she her emotions were in turmoil.

Ava was heading back to her room when she bumped into Oghren. She tried to just make polite with the dwarf and carry on, but he wouldn't let her.

'So, ya actually went through with it?' Oghren said, folding his arms across his chest.

Ava sighed, she knew exactly what he was talking about. 'I'm not having this conversation Oghren.' she said before trying to walk away.

'Fine,' he said, shrugging his shoulders 'but I hope you realise, this is a decision you have to live with.' before walking away to leave Ava standing in the hallway, staring at his retreating form.

Ava waited about an hour before going to Nathaniel's room to wait for him to awaken. Even though she felt nothing but hate for the man, she didn't think it was fair for him to wake in an empty room. She went to the kitchen to get food and water, she knew he would be thirsty when he woke up. She knocked before entering, in case there was already someone in there. When the only answer she got was silence, she entered the room. She perched herself on a chair in the corner, staring at his sleeping form. He was a handsome man. He had been blessed with his mother's looks. She sat there for a while, just studying him whilst he slept before his eyes flickered open. He seemed to automatically sense her presence in the room, his eyes darting straight at her. She blushed at being caught scrutinizing him before turning away. They both sat there in silence a few moments before he spoke.

'Come to gloat I see.' he said staring at her, challenging her.

'Not quite.' she said in a quiet voice.

'Then why are you here?' he said, clearly confused by her presence in the room. 'Come to finish me off because the joining did not?' he sneered.

'Nathaniel, what is done is done. I cannot take back the joining so we will both have to live with it.' Ava said, not rising to the bait, she was too weary for an argument. 'Would you like a drink?'

'It wouldn't surprise me if it was laced in poison.' Nathaniel snorted unable to let the matter drop. Ava didn't bother to reply to his remark before he held his hand out, implying he wanted a drink.

She poured a mug of water for him from a pewter jug and handed it to him which he accepted and greedily drank down. He had been thirsty but had been too proud to say. She allowed herself a private smile, she too would have done the same.

'I need to tell you some things about the joining.' she said before telling him all the side effects that she knew about. She was sure there were probably more as she had been told these things by Alistair who had only been a warden for six months before meeting her, but seeing as she had no one to ask, she thought it best to just tell Nathaniel anyway. As she was talking, he turned his head to the side, unwilling to meet her eyes as he listened patiently, waiting for her to finish.

'One more thing.' she said, doubting herself as she started but continued anyway. 'A part of being a grey warden is that a person's past is their own. Wardens have no creed, colour or race and they are all seen as equals in the ranks of the order. A person also gives up their last name.' she finished before letting the snippet of important information sink in. If the news affected Nathaniel, he didn't show it.

Deciding she did not have any more to say, she stood up to leave. 'I want you to recover before we head out to Amaranthine. As soon as you are ready, come and seek me out.' she said finally before heading out of the door to leave Nathaniel to contemplate all the information that she had given him. Nathaniel stared at the now closed door. He couldn't actually work out if he had been punished or not. He shut his eyes and contemplated his fate.


	8. The hubris of man

Chapter 8

A few days after Nathaniel's joining the group were packing up supplies for their trip to Amaranthine. Even though it would not take long to get to Amaranthine, Ava believed they should pack for a few days more as she had learnt to be prepared after her time travelling around Ferelden during the blight. Nathaniel had barely spoken. He had been professional, but he had hardly spoken two words to Ava. The silence was becoming uncomfortable for the rest of her companions. She had left Varel instructions on what to do in her absence, and she had assured him they would be back as soon as possible.

As they made their way across the courtyard, they heard someone approaching them and as they turned round to look at the slim elf, Ava saw Nathaniel's face change from his sullen expression, to one of surprise.

'Grounds keeper Samuel, is that really you?' Nathaniel asked, smiling. Ava was surprised at the change, she thought the scowl was a permanent fixture on his face.

'Is that...?' Samuel asked, his eyes squinting, trying to get a better look at the taller man. The elf's face was warm and friendly. His eyes widened in surprise as he recognized Nathaniel. 'Little Nate, is that really you?'

Ava almost smiled at the irony of the small, slender elf referring to the much taller man as little. And since when had Nathaniel ever been called Nate?

'It is good to see you, old friend. I am glad to see you have stayed on at the keep.' Nathaniel seemed sincerely pleased to have seen the elf, taking comfort in the fact that he recognised someone from his old life.

'The wardens have been good to me Nate, I have had no reason to move on.' Samuel answered honestly.

Nathaniel frowned at the mention of the wardens. 'That is good to know.' he grumbled politely. 'Do you know how my brother and sister died?' Nathaniel asked quietly, almost afraid to hear what Samuel had to say.

'I'm afraid Thomas died from drinking too much, there is only so much a man can take before it catches up with you.' Samuel said, sadness crept into his voice, his eyes lowering to the ground.

Ava sneaked a look at Oghren from the corner of her eye at Samuel's comment of alcohol and couldn't stop herself from smirking. Booze would never get the better of Oghren, he could drink a inn dry and still be able to move onto the next inn for more.

'But has no one told you about Delilah? She still lives and is residing in Amaranthine. I heard a rumour she married to a shopkeeper.' Samuel said, excited that he had some good news for Nathaniel.

'No, I had no idea.' Nathaniel said, looking at Ava, a question in his eyes, his scowl back in place. Ava shrugged, answering the question, she had no idea that any of his family were still alive. 'That is wonderful news!' Nathaniel said, feeling hopeful since the last time he can remember.

'Aye Nate, you should seek her out if you are in the city.' Samuel said, nodding his head in encouragement. 'I had best go, I have many duties to get out of the way. It was good to see you.'

'And you Samuel.' Nathaniel said.

After the reunion the group found themselves on the road to Amaranthine. They had spent the last few hours in silence and it wasn't exactly the comfortable kind. Ava kept thinking back to her companions that travelled and fought with her during the blight.

Morrigan had been the first companion that she and Alistair had met. Alistair had not gotten off to a good start with the witch, branding her an apostate, unable to forget the templar training instilled in him. And even though the witch tried to keep her distance from the group, Ava grew close to her, often agreeing with her views on many things. Ava had been touched when Morrigan told Ava she had come to see her as a friend.

Leliana had been a breath of fresh air to the group. She was constantly cheerful and bright. However, it didn't take long for Ava to see past the chantry sister act, even if the others couldn't. Ava wasn't really the girly type but she had a thing for shoes and after finding the bard also had the same love for footwear, it sealed their friendship, spending many evenings around the campfire talking about shoes, leaving the others groan at the topic of conversation.

Sten had been the rock of the group. Even though Ava couldn't condone what Sten had done to the farmhold in Lothering, she had come to respect the man, and eventually Sten had gotten over the fact that Ava was a woman and had to come to respect Ava in return. Ava smiled at the memory of stoic giant and his shameless love of sweet things.

Wynne had joined them after the trip to the circle tower. Wynne was intelligent and always had an open ear, lending her infinite wisdom on matters. Ava had been surprised to learn about the spirit within Wynne, but was grateful that the mage was still with them, she had been a huge help on numerous occasions with her healing skills, saving the lives of all her companions.

Zevran had joined them after trying to kill her and Alistair. Even to this day Ava is unsure why she allowed the assassin to join them, but it is one of the best things she ever did. Ava didn't mind all the innuendo, at times finding it hilarious when he turned it towards the innocent Alistair. Eventually the assassin allowed his walls to crumble, letting Ava into his heart that he had tried so desperately to protect.

And Oghren they had picked up last in Orzammar. Even though not all of her companions were the best of friends, she could say with her hand on her heart that each one would have lain their life down for the others. She rubbed a hand across her face in frustration, she wished she could say the same about the group she had now. Oghren, she had no doubts about. Anders seemed trustworthy, but she wasn't sure whether or not he was going to flee at the first opportunity. And Nathaniel she was convinced was already planning to poison her when they stopped for food. She would have to make sure he didn't prepare any meals.

Ava suddenly realised it had gotten dark, she had been so engrossed in her memories that she had not realised how late it had gotten.

'I think it is time to pull up camp.' Ava said, her eyes taking in the landscape. She had not been paying attention to where they were walking, and they needed to find a suitable place quickly before they lost the last of the sunlight. 'Did anyone see anywhere suitable?' she asked, annoyed with herself for letting her mind wander.

Anders, shrugged and shook his head. Oghren was taking a swig from his hip flask, and clearly had no reasonable answer for her. Neither of them were much help, Anders having spent most of his time indoors and Oghren had spent much of his time underground. Ava frowned at the predicament.

It was a few moments before Nathaniel spoke up. 'I noticed an area that was suitable. It also looked like someone had used the area before, with any luck, there may still be some items we could still use.' he said, refusing to look Ava in the eyes, instead opting for a spot behind her head. 'I could lead us back to the area.'

Ava was taken back. She wasn't surprised that he had noticed a suitable area, he had squired in the free marches and was probably used to camping but she was surprised that he was helping. She had expected him to gloat about the fact that she had gotten them into a vulnerable situation. All Ava could do was give him a small nod in return.

Nathaniel led the group to a small clearing in the forest. It was far enough away from the main road to have privacy, and there was a lake nearby. There had been someone there before them and there was the remains of a fire along with a pile of dry firewood. Ava started to set up her tent, leaving her companions to the same. As she turned round to get another item for her tent she saw Nathaniel had already finished setting his up and was helping Anders with his tent. It came as no big surprise that the mage was struggling, but she was again astonished to see Nathaniel offering aid to his fellow companions. It angered her, she's not sure why but it did. She started to pout and then scolded herself, she was being childish. As she continued, she heard more noise from the camp. Ava, looked over her shoulder to see Nathaniel working on the fire. She was sure that he was only being helpful to show her failings to the others. She was in a foul mood by the time she had set her tent up.

'I shall go and hunt us something to eat.' Nathaniel said, standing up from the side of the fire dusting his leathers off.

Ava tensed, she didn't want any more help from the other rogue. 'It's fine, we have food in our packs.'

Nathaniel snorted. 'You cannot expect us to survive until we get to Amaranthine eating _snacks_.' he sneered before stalking off into the woods, not waiting for an answer.

Ava was angry with herself for acting like a petulant child. Her attitude wasn't helping the group, and if Nathaniel did manage to get anything, it would be better than eating bits of salted boar. He returned not long after with two rabbits slung over his shoulder, bound together at their feet. Nathaniel looked at Ava and he gave her a smug look at her expression of disbelief. How did he manage to catch two rabbits so quickly? She moved to take the rabbits from him, but he snatched them away and proceeded to skin them.

'I can skin them, you have already done enough.' she said, trying once again to take the rabbits from him.

'I caught them and should therefore be the one to skin and cook them.' he said, not bothering to look up from the task.

'Suit yourself,' and then remembering her previous thought about poisons said 'but I will cook them.' she said firmly.

Nathaniel was momentarily shocked by the forceful tone in her voice but shrugged his shoulders in acceptance to her request. She started to boil the pan for the rabbit stew. She cursed herself, she had no idea how to cook. She had been brought up in a castle where there were servants to tend to her every need. She wasn't a noble who took things for granted like most of them, her parents had brought her up better than that, but she had never felt the need to learn how to cook. And during the blight, the few times that she had cooked, the food had been awful. She added a few herbs to the pan, unsure what she had put in, they all looked the same to her and when Nathaniel brought the rabbits to her he had cut them into small bite size chunks. She threw them into the pan with some vegetables. When the rabbit looked cooked, she removed the pan from the heat and started to dish up. She handed Anders a bowl.

He gave the stew a look of repulsion. 'Well, I hope it tastes better than it looks.' When he put a spoonful in his mouth, she could tell from his expression alone that it did not.

Next she gave Oghren a bowlful. 'Warden, what the sodding hell is this, it looks like chopped nug livers?' giving the bowl a incredulous look.

Ava closed her eyes in annoyance. Oghren saw the look and said no more before he sat down on a log by the fire to eat his meal. Seeing the others 'enjoying' their meal, Nathaniel smirked at Ava as she handed him another bowl, but he said nothing as he accepted it. Lastly she gave herself a bowl and joined the rest by the fire. As she took her first mouthful, she could see why the others had looks of nausea on their faces. If she hadn't have been so headstrong, they could be sat having a perfectly nice meal, but being the stubborn mule she is, she was determined to finish her meal.

'That meal was something _special_.' Anders stated sarcastically. Nathaniel snickered at Anders' comment.

'Why on Thedas did you cook, you never did cook a decent meal during the blight.' Oghren said, joining in.

Ava spluttered, she was unable to answer the question honestly. 'I just thought everyone was tired, so I wanted to let everyone rest whilst I cooked.' she said unconvincingly.

'Well I know I can be honest with you commander. Please do not cook _ever_ again.' Oghren said, deadly serious.

Ava would have laughed if it had not been for Nathaniel. Instead she blushed with shame. 'I can only apologise.' she said before standing up from the log. She moved to collect everyone's bowls. She was unsurprised to find their bowls still half full. She headed down to the lake to wash their dishes, before throwing her companions a 'good night' and headed into her tent hoping to sleep off her bad mood.


	9. Priorities

Chapter 9

It took them a little over a week to get to Amaranthine. Ava discovered that Nathaniel was in fact a wonderful cook, and he had also not even tried to poison her. Ava also found that Anders was pleasant company, he had plenty of stories to keep the group occupied. Even Nathaniel joined in occasionally, unable to stop himself getting swept up in Anders stories but on the whole he remained taciturn.

'After the seventh attempt of escaping the tower you'd think they would let me off, credit for trying so to speak.' Anders said, beaming at the memory.

'Seven attempts!' Ava said, incredulous. 'How did you manage to escape so many times?' Ava asked, curious.

'I can be very _imaginative_, I can show you just how imaginative if you desire.' he said, suggestion laced in every word.

Ava chuckled. 'I will think of ways you can use that imagination of yours.' she said, her voice taking on a seductive tone, joining in the revelry. Anders grinned from ear to ear.

'You know, there is one thing that I do miss from the tower,' he said, suddenly becoming serious. ' A cat. He wasn't mine, he was a mouser for the tower, he was a vicious thing. Sometimes he was the only person I ever saw, except he wasn't really a person. Poor Mr Wiggums.'

'Why poor Mr Wiggums?' Ava asked, not really sure she wanted to know the fate of the cat, it didn't sound good.

'Poor thing, he got possessed by a rage demon. Went crazy. He did me proud though, he managed to take down three templars before they managed to slay him.' Anders said, chuckling ruefully.

As they neared the city of Amaranthine, Ava was dismayed. There were makeshift camps littered around the outskirts of the city. There were hundreds of people, sitting in the streets leading up to the city's main gate. There were men woman and children mingling in with the livestock running around the place. The whole area looked like a breeding ground for disease.

Ava took in all the sights of the refugees at the gates, this problem would need to be brought to Varel's attention, she would not be responsible for letting innocent people live in squalor in her arling.

As she approached the entrance to the city, she heard someone addressing her.

'Well hello there beautiful.' a man with scruffy hair and foul smelling clothes said. He looked her up and down with appreciation. 'How's about me and you go somewhere private, we can have a bit of fun.'

Ava couldn't even attempt to hide her disgust at the man. 'Say that to me again and I will show you how fun it is to shove my blade where the sun doesn't shine.' Ava said, narrowing her eyes at the man, ensuring that he didn't miss the meaning of her words. She could hear Anders and Oghren behind her snickering at her words.

'I like a woman with a bit of fighting spirit in her.' the man chuckled. 'Ol' Colbert likes them pretty too.' eyeing the features on her face.

Ava forgot that the man had been nothing but derogatory to her, she was focused on the man's name now. 'Did you say Colbert?' she asked, raising an eyebrow in question, folding her arms in front of her.

Colbert grinned 'I see my reputation as a stud precedes me.'

Ava couldn't prevent the snort that escaped her. 'Hardly. The captain of the guard at vigils keep mentioned you, said you knew something about darkspawn?'

Colbert's face paled as he finally realised who he was talking to. 'Begging your pardon miss, I had no idea you were the commander of the grey.' he spluttered out, suddenly serious.

'Just get to the point man.' Ava said, arms still across her chest and struggling with her temper.

Colbert, sensing Ava's lack of patience said hurriedly 'We were chasing down a stag in Knotwood Hills, a big one he was, trying to get one over on us.' Ava put her hands on her hips and started tapping her foot, showing her lack of patience to the man. 'Errr, anyway, as we set up chase, Micah here fell into a gaping chasm. He hurt his head, or arm or something. I went down to check on him and that's when I saw them, dozens of darkspawn.'

'But you survived?' Ava said, confused.

'Well, here's the strange part,' Colbert said, frowning at his own words 'they ignored us, as though they were preoccupied with something.'

Since when have darkspawn ever ignored easy prey? Ava thought, but then again, why would the men have any reason to lie, and they were stood in front of her to tell the tale. It was just another unanswered question to throw in to the pot with the other ones. This was becoming more complicated by the minute.

'Thank you Colbert.' Ava said, digging into her coin purse to pull out two sovereigns. She placed the coin into the man's hand and placed another in the elf's hand, much to his surprise. 'For your trouble.'

She turned to the group. 'I know we need to investigate, but we are here to look into the disappearance of Kristoff, and that takes priority, we need as many wardens as possible.' she said. 'We should head to the inn, see if the barkeep has any leads for us. And they may have some rooms for the night, it would be better than sleeping on the outskirts of the city.'

'Good idea warden.' Oghren said, nodding his head in agreement. Ava laughed. She knew precisely why the dwarf was agreeing with her and it had nothing to do with her sound decision making.

They continued into the city when they were stopped by a guard. 'May I check your pack please, we are having problems with smugglers in the area and we are checking everyone's goods before they enter.'

'Certainly.' Ava said handing over her pack, and those of her companions. They had nothing to hide.

'What are you doing man?' An older man with blonde hair and tanned skin, from over exposure to the sun, came marching up to them. 'Are you accusing the commander of the grey of smuggling?' he said, scolding the younger man.

'I...I...but... you said to check everyone!' the guard said, attempting to defend himself from the wrath of his superior.

'It's quite alright.' Ava said, shaking her head 'The man is doing his duty, he is wise not to let anyone pass. And he is also only obeying your orders.' Ava said, folding her arms, raising a perfectly shaped brow, daring the man to question her.

'Fair enough.' the older man said to Ava 'My name is Aiden, I am the constable of the city guards.' he folded his arms across his chest and bowed at the waist, as was customary in Ferelden. Ava mirrored the gesture. 'I have a favour to ask of you commander. As I am sure you're aware, there have been problems with smuggling within the city. My men are overstretched with dealing with the darkspawn attacks. I was wondering if you had time, would you be able to investigate the smuggling ring?'

Ava thought for a moment. She needed to investigate Kristoff's whereabouts, but she also couldn't leave the city unprotected. She debated and compromised with herself. She could investigate the smuggling after Kristoff, the problem would still be waiting for her, whereas Kristoff may not. 'I will investigate the matter for you and report back my findings. But I may not be able to do it straight away.'

'Thank you, that is most kind of you. Now I shall let you be on your way, I have taken up enough of your precious time commander.' Aiden said before bowing again.

The city of Amaranthine was vast. The market place was bursting with traders. Weapons and armour, silks, spices, perfumes and oils were scattered amongst the stalls. There were hundreds of people bartering with each other. The chantry was extravagant, the sun shining through the elaborate glass windows. And Oghren's eyes nearly popped from their sockets at the sight of the inn, it was huge. They walked through the door and were welcomed to the sight of a bustling, busy room. They spotted an empty table and took it. Ava left her companions on the table whilst she found the innkeeper and made her enquiries.

'Excuse me, are you in charge of the inn here?' she asked a short balding man, who was lifting crates behind the bar.

'Aye miss, that would be me,' he said glancing up from his work 'what can I do you for?'

'I was wondering if I would be able to trouble you for four rooms for the night.' she asked, smiling politely.

The man was visibly pleased at the prospect of making money and stopped what he was doing altogether to look at Ava.

'Well, I can give you three rooms, unfortunately, the rest are taken.'

'Thank you, that will do nicely.' she said, wondering what her companions would say to having to share. 'I was also wondering if you would be able to answer some questions for me?' she asked again, as politely as she could, there was no point being pushy, it wouldn't get her anywhere.

The innkeeper tensed and eyed her suspiciously. 'It depends what kind of questions.' he said, evading answering her.

'I was wondering if a grey warden named Kristoff passed through here.'

The man remained suspicious and again refused to answer her. 'Why, who wants to know?'

'My name is Ava, I am commander of the grey, Kristoff has not returned to the vigil and I would like to find him.' she answered honestly, she saw no point in lying to the man, and he would probably see right through her if she did.

The man relaxed and smiled. 'Aye, we've had a warden by that name. I've not seen him for about a week now. He booked a room for a month, he must of figured he would be needing it for a while.' his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. 'It's strange that he booked a room and didn't return.' as if realising this for the first time.

Ava's heart sank into her stomach, and there was a nagging voice in the back of her mind telling her there was something terribly wrong. The innkeeper was right, it was strange that Kristoff would book a room for so long and not return to it. She told the voice to shut up and tried her best to ignore it. 'Would you have a spare key to his room?'

'Certainly, anything to help the wardens out.' he said and turned to a cupboard full of keys. He picked out several keys and placed them into her open hand. He pointed out the key to Kristoff's room.

Ava thanked the man for his help and paid him for the rooms in advance. She sat down with her companions and noticed that Oghren had already got his hands on some ale.

'Okay so there's some bad news and some bad news,' she said, resting her forehead on her hands. 'Which would you like first?'

'Oohhh, choices, choices.' Anders piped up, ever jovial. 'How about the bad news?'

'Well, Kristoff passed through here and paid for a room for a month but hasn't returned.'

Anders saw the expression of worry on Ava's face. 'Maybe he got lucky whilst looking for the darkspawn, ended up staying with a woman?' he said, trying to be optimistic.

'Or maybe he got unlucky.' Nathaniel said gruffly, as if reading Ava's mind.

'Well aren't you a barrel of laughs!' Oghren said, pausing momentarily to speak before downing the rest of his ale.

'And what's the other bad news?' Anders queried, scowling at Nathaniel.

'There are only three rooms.' Ava said slowly to allow the information sink in.

Anders had a mischievous look eye in his eyes, seeing an opportunity. 'Is this your way of trying to get me into bed commander?' he asked, grinning at her.

'Trust me Anders, you wouldn't want to share a bed with me. I hog the covers and will leave you cold in the night.' she said, smiling back at the mage.

'I'm sure I can think of _something_ we could do to keep me warm.' he said answering back.

'It's still a no Anders.' she laughed, she knew it was empty flattery, but she enjoyed it all the same. 'I'm going to look at Kristoff's room whilst you three argue it out who will be sharing.'

Ava headed up the stairs and inquired which room was Kristoff's. She unlocked the door and opened it out onto a room that was small but homely. Her eyes immediately locked on the chest in the room. She opened it up to find personal items of Kristoff's. She picked them up and placed them in her leathers. She then noticed a few possessions on a table near the fire. She rifled through some papers before coming across a leather bound book. She opened the book and her eyes settled on the last entry of the diary.

_There have been limited leads regarding darkspawn stragglers. But I did come across a man from the city who claimed to have seen darkspawn in the Blackmarsh. Towns folk say the marsh is haunted but many scavengers will risk going there to make ends meet. What is unbelievable is that the man said the darkspawn leading the group spoke. All grey wardens know that darkspawn do not talk, they are mindless creatures. He also claimed that a worm like creature with long legs followed the darkspawn. Surely the man must be mistaken, but as I have no other leads to go on, I have no choice. I will leave for the Blackmarsh in the morning. _

Ava scoffed at the entry, if only Kristoff had known what she had encountered at the keep, he would not have so readily dismissed the man's claims as rubbish. On the other hand, she did the same thing when she was told that there was a talking darkspawn in the keep.

'Found anything.' a voice grumbled out.

Ava jumped, she had not heard Nathaniel approach, he was definitely stealthy. Nathaniel smirked at the look of surprise on Ava's face. She disliked the man even more. She placed a hand over her heart, willing it to slow to a steady pace. 'I found Kristoff's journal, it says he went to the Blackmarsh.'

Nathaniel's brows knitted together at the mention of the Blackmarsh 'People say the place is haunted. My father used to tell me stories about the place when I was younger.'

Ava snorted at the thought of Rendon Howe telling stories.

'He was a normal father.' Nathaniel growled out.

Ava wanted to change the subject, they were treading into dangerous ground and they were barely speaking as it was. 'Why are you not downstairs with the others?'

Nathaniel pinched the bridge of his nose. 'I couldn't take any more of their arguing, they were giving me a headache.'

Ava chuckled at the thought of Anders and Oghren arguing, she was kind of sad she had missed it. 'Yeah they can do that.'

'So what now?' he asked.

'I know that there are problems within the city, but my first priority is the wardens, and I believe Kristoff to be in trouble. We head out at first light tomorrow, we will go to the Blackmarsh.'

'I agree.' he said simply before walking off, leaving Ava standing there slack jawed. She had expected him to argue and was gearing herself up for a fight. The man was definitely not as one dimensional as she had first thought.


	10. Dreams

Chapter 10

The next morning the group were leaving the city behind them and heading to the Blackmarsh. They had gathered more supplies from the city's traders, Ava hoping that she had bought legitimate items, not wanting to continue to fund the smuggling ring.

'So...what's it like Anders?' Oghren asked, a mischievous look in his eye.

'What?' Anders replied.

'Being a mage?' Oghren said, struggling to keep the laughter in that was trying to escape.

'Oh...you mean having all this power at my finger tips.' Anders said, thinking that he had caught onto what Oghren was saying, but not actually realising he had fallen for the verbal trap the dwarf had set for him.

'No, having to wear a skirt all the time.' Oghren said, guffawing and nudging Nathaniel in the ribs.

Anders smirked at the dwarf much to Oghren's annoyance. 'You don't know the story of the robes do you. Well, you know how rigid things are in the circle. The robes make it easier to have quick trysts in the corner. No buttons or laces. And no getting caught by the templars.'

'Really!' Oghren and Ava said in unison.

'Just ask anyone.' Anders said smugly, pleased with himself at having finally shut the dwarf up. 'I can show you if you like commander.' Anders said to Ava, one eyebrow raised.

'Well, if you're not used to buttons and laces, then I don't expect you to be able to undress me before I get bored, so I will have to refuse your offer Anders.' Ava said, giggling as Anders spluttered trying to think of a response.

'Aha,' Oghren laughed 'that shut you up sparkle fingers!'

Anders stomped off ahead of the group and was unusually quiet for a few hours before he forgave Ava.

It took them the best part of two weeks to get to the Blackmarsh. As they neared the marsh Ava noticed that they hadn't seen any signs of life for miles. They had not seen any forest animals and she hadn't even seen any birds either. The trees were getting more withered the closer they got until she noticed that they hadn't seen any greenery for hours either. She shuddered, this place was making her uncomfortable, and she was losing hope of finding Kristoff alive the nearer they got to their destination. As they followed the path round, they saw a wooden signpost that read simply _Blackmarsh_.

Ava saw Nathaniel tense up as he saw something and drew his bow from its holder. He let an arrow fly from its notch and it made a soft thudding noise as it hit something. It was then that she saw some wolves skulking around in the shadows. She drew her weapons from her back and started slowly towards the animals. They sensed the impending danger and bared their teeth at her. She saw another arrow hit a wolf in its throat and the animal went down. She lunged at one of the creatures, her dagger slicing into flesh. The animal whimpered, but Ava, plunged her other dagger into the side of the animal, slicing through fur and flesh before her dagger found its way into the animals heart.

Oghren was swinging his large axe in front of him, almost slicing the wolves in two. Anders was throwing lightening and ice at the wolves, periodically pausing to cast rejuvenation spells at the group. Nathaniel had moved onto a ledge overlooking the area that the wolves were, continually pulling arrows from their quiver and letting them fly through the air, never missing their intended target.

Ava realised it was the first time she had seen Nathaniel fighting. She was impressed with his archery skills, no wonder he always managed to catch them food for dinner. He had a sharp eye and his reflexes were quick. She realised that he was possibly even a better archer than Leliana, much to her annoyance. They managed to kill the wolves, picking them off, one by one, eliminating the pack.

The marsh was covered in fog and even though it was still daylight, there was an unnatural darkness covering the place. The place had an eerie feel to it.

'I feel the veil is thin here.' Anders muttered.

'It is rumoured that evil magic killed the people that lived here, it was before the rebellion. It is a great mystery what happened, one that was never solved. The marsh has been abandoned ever since.' Nathaniel muttered, his voice barely audible.

'We need to be careful, we have no idea what is waiting for us in there.' Ava said in warning.

As they made their way further into the marsh, they found the ruins of a village. They place had obviously not been inhabited for some years. The place still retained some of its possessions. There was rotted furniture among the ruins and Ava was saddened to see the remains of a child's toy in the dirt. She knelt down to pick it up and felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Oghren peering down and he gently shook his head at her. She nodded at him and stood up, leaving the toy in its place.

It wasn't long before they were completely coved in mud, the whole place was like a giant bog, making it difficult to walk through. They stayed on the path, heading further into the marsh and it wasn't long before they came across a darkspawn corpse.

'Hmph, it could only be Kristoff's doing.' Oghren said, offering his insight.

'We can only hope friend.' Ava said, hopeful that they had found something positive in the dreadful place.

They then heard a howl and were set upon by a group of blighted werewolves. The group was smaller than the group of wolves they had encountered on their way into the marsh, but they were more difficult to kill. They were much bigger but Ava was determined not to get bitten by one of the creatures. As the weapon in her left hand lunged into the beasts, the weapon in her right hand swept out in front of her, keeping the creatures at a distance. Eventually the creatures laid before them, slain. They continued on their way through the dilapidated village, occasionally encountering blighted werewolves. Luckily, none of the wardens were injured.

They came across a locked chest in the ruins. Nathaniel knelt down by the chest and pulled out a small pouch from within his leathers. He unrolled the pouch, to reveal some lock picking tools. He expertly selected some tools and his fingers worked deftly at the lock. Ava heard several clicks before the lock was opened.

'I would be able to work quicker if I had better tools.' he grumbled before opening the chest to reveal some poultices. He picked them up and handed them to Ava. As he handed them to her, his hand brushed hers. She was repulsed by the contact and dropped a poultice onto the floor which smashed on impact. She moved to brush her hand on her thigh, as if trying to wipe away Nathaniel's touch. He scowled at her gesture and proceeded to hand the rest of the poultices to Anders who just looked confused at the exchange between the pair.

They left the village behind and followed the main path into a forest and soon came across an abandoned camp. It looked like it hadn't been used for days. Ava could only assume it was Kristoff's camp as there would surely be no one else willing to venture so far in. Ava didn't know if it was a good sign or a bad sign that they had not found Kristoff. She rummaged around the camp, looking for any clues and saw something glinting in a pile of rocks. As she took a closer look, she realised it was a locket. She picked it up, running her fingers over the intricate design on the locket. The locket was of expensive make and it was clearly a woman's. She opened it up and found a small portrait of a beautiful woman with blonde hair smiling on one side. On the other side she found a small lock of hair tied together by a piece of red string.

She did not have time to think about what it was doing there before she found herself fighting blighted werewolves once again and slipped the locket into her leathers. They finished the werewolves off easily, each of her companions becoming quickly aware of their enemies weaknesses. They were tired from all the fighting, and it was becoming too dark to see properly, if they continued they could end up missing something vital.

'I think we should camp here for the night.' Ava said, panting from her exertions.

'I knew you weren't just a pretty face.' Anders said in reply, also breathless.

They placed their packs on the floor and began the task of setting the camp up. Nathaniel as usual managed to have his tent up before everyone else and was sorting the fire out.

Oghren was sipping some type of alcohol from his flask that seemed to have a never ending supply in it. She rolled her eyes, no matter what situation the dwarf found himself in, he always deemed it necessary to have a drink. The curious thing was, how he managed to keep all his faculties intact. She had once tried some of his ale in camp, he had allowed her a few sips. She had no recollection of what happened afterwards, relying on what Alistair told her. She had apparently accused Oghren of stealing her pants, despite assurances from Alistair that she was still wearing them.

Ava chuckled sadly at the memory, Alistair had nearly keeled over, he was laughing so hard at her antics. She thought about how much she missed his easy humour. He would be able to lighten the mood of the camp, no matter where that camp might be, even somewhere as depressing as the Blackmarsh.

They ate their meal of dry boar that they had saved from a previous meal and vegetables. They would not be able to have fresh meat until they got out of the Blackmarsh. They each drew twigs, to find out who would be taking first watch. Ava drew the short one and was therefore on first watch. The others made their way to their own tents. Ava rested her back against a log and let her mind wonder, thinking about happier times. She started to think about her family.

Her parents had met during the rebellion. Many nobles were in arranged marriages, but her parents had been in love. Her father had trained as a warrior, whereas her mother was trained as a rogue. It was where Ava had picked her skills up, from her parents. Her parents had given their consent when Ava expressed an interest in training. Eleanor was firm that Ava still learn the skills needed to be a fine noble lady, ready for when the perfect suitor came along. But she saw no harm in Ava training. When Ava was eighteen, she managed to best Fergus in a duel, witnessed by most of the castle. It was the talk of the staff for weeks. Her parents had told her in private, that it was one of the proudest moments of their lives. Ava had been close to both her parents.

At the thought of her family, hot tears escaped the corners of her eyes and slid down her face. At least she still had Fergus. She realised that she needed to write to him, let him know how she was doing. He had also lost everything during the blight, barely managing to escape with his life.

Ava heard someone approaching her spot near the tree. She looked up to see Nathaniel and hurriedly wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand. She scowled at his presence. He looked embarrassed to have stumbled into her private moment.

'It is time for me to take my watch.' he said, looking away from her.

'Okay.' she mumbled before standing up, cringing at the fact that he had seen her so vulnerable. She left him warming himself by the fire and made her way into her own tent. She fell asleep not long after, weary from the day's fighting. She dreamt that her parents were still alive and that Orianna and Oren were still here. In her dream, Orianna was bursting at the news that she was expecting again, unable to stop the smile from sitting on her face. Ava was introducing Alistair to her parents, relishing in the fact that her father and Alistair were getting on so well. She chuckled when her mother whispered in her ear how handsome Alistair was. Ava felt so happy.


	11. Justice for all

Chapter 11

They packed up camp the following morning, eating rations of fruit that they had picked previously. They left the camp behind them, walking for a few hours. The wardens were chatting amongst themselves when Ava realised they hadn't encountered any wolves. Strange, Ava thought, but pushed it to the back of her mind. It wasn't long before they found themselves in a clearing with several paths leading away.

Ava spotted several cocoon like pods scattered around the ground. They were wiggling as though something was trying to escape their shell. Ava was about to warn them not to touch the pods, but she was too late. Anders placed his hand on one of the pods, a child like curiousness on his face, when it burst open. Anders found himself covered in some slimy substance. A grub like creature escaped from the open pod. As if on cue, the other pods burst open covering Anders in more sticky goo, allowing more grubs to enter the clearing. The group brandished their weapons. Ava had never seen anything before that even remotely looked like the creatures.

She found that the creatures were not as difficult to beat as she first thought, their flesh was soft and her daggers sunk into them easily. Oghren's axe managed to slice right through the grubs, slicing through two at the same time. Anders sent out bolts of lightning from his finger tips, the grubs exploding, entrails pouring onto the floor. Nathaniel remained in the distance, his arrows striking deep into the grubs.

The battle was over quickly. She knelt down next to one of the grubs, examining it closely, touching the dead grubs with a gauntlet covered hand. It was obvious that the creatures had not fully developed yet. But what were they supposed to grow into, she thought.

'Ewwww.' Anders said grimacing, his hands touching his robes. When he brought his hands away, the gooey substance stuck to his fingers, leaving strings of glob in their wake.

Oghren looked at the mage and burst out laughing, tears of joy running down his face. When he had composed himself he said 'Didn't yer mother ever tell you not to touch things if ya don't know where it's been.'

Anders took his eyes off his ruined robes and narrowed them at the dwarf. 'I will remind myself not to touch you then.' he growled, narrowing his eyes at the dwarf.

Ava was struggling to keep her laughter in before allowing it to escape in full force. She was laughing so hard, she had to bend at the middle, resting her hands on her knees. She heard a deep rumbling noise from Nathaniel and realised that he was actually laughing.

'I'm sorry Anders.' Ava managed to hiccup out between giggles.

'You could at least act like you're sorry.' he said 'But you look so pretty when you laugh, you should do it more often.' he said before joining in the laughter.

Everyone's laughter slowly died down, apart from the odd chuckle. Ava found an old cloth in her bag and poured some water onto it, handing it to Anders. He wiped of as much of the goo as possible, but he still looked an absolute mess, his normally neat and tidy hair plastered against his head.

They moved on, taking one of the roads out of the clearing to lead to another open space. Their joy was short lived. Ava gasped as she saw a body on the floor, lying on his side, eyes wide open. There was no mistaking who this man was. He had the grey warden insignia emblazoned on his breast plate. Ava already knew that the man's fate did not look good before they ventured into the Blackmarsh, but seeing that the man was actually dead was disheartening. She moved her hand to shut Kristoff's eyes.

As she was looking at Kristoff, she noticed her companions moving for their weapons from the corner of her eyes. She looked up from Kristoff's body to see that they were surrounded by darkspawn. There were also some of the grub creatures with them. At least one of her questions had been answered, the grubs they had encountered were undeveloped darkspawn. There were too many darkspawn for them all to fight and survive. A hurlock approached the front of the group.

He told Ava that he was sent here by someone called 'the mother' and that he had lured Kristoff there so that Ava would follow.

Ava did not have time to ask questions before he raised his arm, a green light emitting from his palm. The light blasted from his hand, covering the group. Ava felt herself being lifted involuntarily from the ground, and was unable to move. She had felt this unnatural feeling before, and cursed, she was going to the fade.

They spent what felt like hours navigating their way through the fade, although it was hard to tell how long they were there, as time did not move in the same way as the mortal world.

They encountered several demons along the way, mostly shades and desire demons.

'You need to be careful Anders.' Ava said 'You don't want to become possessed or enthralled by one of the demons.'

'You're right, but I can think of worse ways to die that in the arms of some sexy desire demon, she could literally make my dreams come true.' he replied, earnestly, before his eyes glazed over, losing himself in some fantasy that Ava did not want to even think of.

An exasperated sigh slipped past Ava's lips, she felt as if they were never going to find their way out. She ran her hand through her hair in frustration.

They managed to find their way to a small village and Ava had the strange sense that the place was familiar. They approached a small, but rowdy mob of people shouting through a gate at some target beyond her sight.. Ava could see a man stood at the front of the crowd, but was confused as she could see right through him. She drew a dagger from its place on her back. If her time in the fade taught her anything it was to be wary of everything she came across, especially things she could not make sense of.

The group slowly made their way to the crowd, before watching as the man at the front of the group turned to face her. She narrowed her eyes in suspicion, never taking her eyes from her potential target.

The see-through man pointed a finger in accusation at Ava. 'And who are you? Another minion of the baroness?' he said before his expression softened to one of pity 'Or more helpless souls trapped here.' sweeping his hand across the crowd.

Ava's eyes scanned the crowd, looking into the faces of the people there. She could see the hint of hope glimmering in their eyes. She placed her dagger back to where she got it from, she knew she was in no danger, the people before her were in the same situation as the wardens were. And the see-through man was their saviour.

'We are trapped here against our will.' Ava said, bowing her head once to the man.

'I am a spirit of justice. I have watched this village for some time, and I seethe at the wrong doings here. I seek to aid the people.'

Ava listened as the villagers told her of the baroness and how she ruled over them in the mortal world, using their children to fuel her blood magic. When the villagers stood up against her, she dragged them with her to the fade, trapping them there, continuing her rule over them.

'Will you stand with us, your aid will be much needed.' the spirit pleaded.

Ava contemplated the situation. The wardens had nothing to lose from helping the villagers, but a lot to gain.

As if reading her mind Nathaniel spoke. 'This spirit knows the fade, if we help him he may be able to help us.'

Ava glanced at him from the corner of her eye, her face remaining expressionless. 'I agree.' was all she said, annoyed that she had no choice but to agree with the man as it was the sensible thing to do. 'We will help you spirit.'

'Now we have the numbers to challenge the baroness.' the spirit said, 'We are going to storm the gate, are you ready?' he asked looking directly into Ava's eyes.

She nodded, readying her already battle weary body, the metal of her daggers clinking together as she drew them.

The spirit turned to the crowd, rallying them together for the final stand. 'For too long have her crimes gone unpunished, now is the time to reclaim your freedom.' he bellowed, throwing his arm in the air, his sword in hand. The spirit turned to the gate and forcefully kicked out his foot, sending the doors of the gate swinging before marching through, followed by the wardens and the crowd.

Ava could see a woman standing on a balcony accompanied by demons. The spirit and villagers argued back and forth with the woman, who Ava surmised to be the baroness.

Ava immediately became alert when the baroness pointed at the wardens. 'Who are these? More fools to do your bidding?' she sneered at the spirit.

'We are no longer alone in our fight against you. Your reign of terror ends now.' the spirit shouted in response.

The baroness smiled in what would have looked like a sweet smile, had it not been for the malicious intent hidden behind her eyes. 'Neither am I.'

Ava's eyes widened in shock as the figure moved from behind the baroness and she found herself looking at the hurlock who had brought her here in the first place. 'You!' she fumed, pointing at the cause of her current state.

'My victory over you and your new companions are all that stand between me and the mortal world, then I can pay 'the mother' back for her betrayal.' the hurlock grunted.

Ava's anger descended over her like a red mist. 'I don't care about this 'mother', you are going to pay for sending us here, you will not be leaving this place alive.' she threatened, forgetting all else around her, her whole attention on the darkspawn. If they were to stay in the fade, at least she would get her revenge.

'Enough!' the spirit shouted, snapping Ava back momentarily from her anger. 'The battle begins.'

The battle was long and tiresome. They would have finished off the talking darkspawn sooner, had it not been for the baroness summoning shades to aid him in battle. Ava, finally knocked the darkspawn down onto his back, and sat astride the creature. Holding her dagger in both hands, she thrust down hard, pushing her daggers through his neck. Ava stood up, throwing the darkspawn a conceited look, before walking to stand at the sides of her companions. Anders gave her a curious look as she approached him, but she only shrugged in reply.

'No you fool! Why haven't you killed them?' the baroness shrieked in pure anger.

'They are too strong. You must sunder the veil to send me back before it is too late.' the darkspawn gurgled out, holding a hand up to the baroness, pleading for sympathy.

The baroness frowned, her mouth set in a thin line ignoring his pleas. 'Oh I will sunder the veil alright, but using your life to do so.' she mocked before raising her arms and covering the wardens in a bright white light.

Ava felt drops of water trailing down her face. She opened her eyes to see that it was raining. She sat up leaning on her elbow, cradling her aching head in her spare hand, she was disorientated. Ava noticed her companions beginning to stir. But her heart felt as though it had stopped when she saw Kristoff get up, resting on his hands and knees. She instinctively drew her weapons, feeling as though they were still in danger.

'Where...where am I?' a deep voice asked.

Ava frowned in confusion, she recognised the voice. 'Spirit?' she asked, disbelieving.

The spirit's hands touch Kristoff's face tentatively. 'This is the world of the mortals. And this is a body of flesh, I am trapped within.'

'How did you get here spirit?' Nathaniel asked.

'The witch sundered the veil. In her haste, she must have sent us all back.' he said, his hands gesturing wildly. 'She is here, can you not _feel_ the evil in the area.' he growled out. 'She was a mortal once, but now she is a demon of pride, she assumed that role a long time ago. In the fade, she is one thing, but out here she is something else entirely, she is extremely dangerous in your world.' he warned.

'What do you propose?' Ava asked quietly, she knew demons of pride were powerful, remembering meeting Uldred in the circle tower, and they could possibly be in considerable danger.

'We need to find her and kill her. She is most likely in her mansion.' the spirit said firmly, leaving no room for debate.

Ava remembered passing a mansion in the ruined village, they had been unable to pass through the metal gate, but had never though anything of it at the time. 'That is where we shall go then.' she said, seeing no other options.

Due to the tears in the veil, they encountered many demons as they backtracked through the marsh. Justice managed to adjust to Kristoff's body and fought well, using a sword and shield. They soon found themselves at the large metal gates guarding the mansion. Nathaniel and the spirit stood on either side of the gate and each pushed a side of the gate, their muscles straining against the weight. The gate eventually gave and opened with a huge clang, it obviously hadn't been used for some time.

They baroness was standing in the mansion's courtyard, awaiting their arrival as if she knew they would come. She noticed their approach.

'The mortal world is very dull.' she said, almost as though she was bored. 'No matter, it will soon liven up when the mortals within it bow before me.' she cackled manically.

'I will never allow that to happen demon.' the spirit said forcefully, drawing his sword from its scabbard as he approached.

'We defeated you once demon, it shall be no trouble doing it again!' Ava said, mocking the demon.

'Ha, we shall see!' she shouted before her eyes turned green. She held a hand to her throat, as if she was choking and fell to her hands and knees. Ava backed up slightly at the sight. The woman's shape changed, the pride demon showing its true form. Ava swore at the size of the demon, it was easily the size of three ogres.

She noticed Nathaniel and Anders had moved out of range from the demon, Nathaniel already loading his bow with arrows and Anders fingers tingling with magic. Ava charged the demon armed with her daggers, lunging, attempting to break through the demon's skin. The spirit was swinging out with his long sword, using his shield as a battering ram, trying to tire the beast out. Oghren was wielding his axe, taking chunks of flesh from the creatures shins. The demon didn't seem to be tiring at all whereas the wardens did. The demon tapped into the baroness' powers, blasting them all with magic. Nathaniel remained relentless with his onslaught of arrows, aiming them for its face and eyes. Anders flitted between healing and offensive magic. Oghren changed his tactics and taunted the demon, drawing its attention away from the rest of the group, but was soon surrounded by a telekinetic prison cast by the demon. Ava saw the chance.

She moved into the shadows, away from the demon's line of sight. She moved round the back of the creature and sneaked closer. She found a weak spot in the thick skin on the back of its ankle. Maybe if she got her daggers in deep enough, it would disable the creature, making it fall. It was worth a shot. She tightened the grip on her daggers, not wanting to lose them and drew them over her head, gaining momentum before swinging down with all her strength. The daggers fought their way past thick skin, slicing into muscles and tendons. The demon howled in pain. Ava struggled to free her daggers, wiggling them to loosen them from the thick skin. She repeated the motion on the creatures other ankle, causing the creature to fall to its knees, unable to stand, the muscles in its ankles damaged.

The creature finally spotted Ava and swung out with a huge hand. Ava barely managed to roll out of the way, leaping up to her feet. Oghren was finally free of his prison and swung his huge axe at the neck of the demon, finding sensitive flesh. The beast fell to the floor, still attempting to cast spells at the wardens. The spirit held his long sword in both hands and drove the blade deep into the demon's skull. Ava felt a sob escape her throat, grief hot in her chest. Images of Alistair's last moment flashed into her mind. She closed her eyes, shutting out the images. When she had composed herself, she saw the demon lay dead.

Ava sat on the floor, resting her elbows on her knees, her head dipped, waiting for her breathing to slow. The rest of the wardens dropped to the floor beside Ava, passing a water skin amongst themselves, leaving the spirit on his feet, looking at the body of the Baroness.

'And so it is done. For what it's worth, thank you. I have fulfilled my promise and may the victims of the demon rest in peace.' the spirit said, bowing his head in respect to the lost souls.

'What do you plan to so now?' Ava asked, looking up at him, but remained on the floor.

'I am not sure mortal. I am unable to return to the fade. I am trapped in the body of this...grey warden?' patting the body of Kristoff again, trying to become used to the feel of a body of flesh. 'I am able to sense the poor man's memories. They are difficult to make out, but he was slain by darkspawn, one called the first. The one we encountered in the fade' the spirit said, his face contorting in confusion at the feelings he was experiencing caused by Kristoff's memories.

'The darkspawn are who the grey wardens seek to slay.' Ava said, trying to clarify some of the spirit's confusion.

'That is what you were pursuing before you were tricked into the fade. It makes sense to me now.' as though the pieces of a puzzle were in place. 'I am at a loss of what to do. I know nothing from this world and have only a few memories to draw on. I do not wish to die.' he said, morosely.

Ava felt nothing but pity for the spirit. She would not leave the spirit without help, and she was in need of help herself. Even though the real Kristoff had passed on, she would still be able to use his physical form for aid.

'Why do you not join us, you are inhabiting the body of a grey warden and I could use your help.'

'Do you mean continue his mission? As a grey warden? It was darkspawn that killed him and yet they still live. To avenge his death...yes, that would be justice for him.' he said, nodding his head, agreeing with Ava. 'I will join you mortal.'

'Should I call you Kristoff?' Ava asked.

'No, that is not my name. I have no name, only virtues. But if you need a name, Justice will suffice, for that is what I am.'

'Welcome Justice.' Ava said simply, offering him a small smile. They made their way out of the Blackmarsh, finally leaving the dreadful place behind. Ava wasn't religious, but she was silently praying to the maker that they never had to return to that place again.


	12. Selfishness and spitefulness

Chapter 12

They were making it back to the keep in good time, quicker than it took to get to the Blackmarsh. Ava reckoned that there was only another days travel ahead of them. Anders seemed to be adapting to the outside life well, having spent most of his adult life trapped in the circle tower, but he seemed to find the travelling less tiring. Oghren still had a copious amount of alcohol stashed somewhere, Ava had no idea where the dwarf managed to get it from, but on the other hand, she wasn't sure she really wanted to know. Justice had been like a small child in some respects, finding everything he saw fascinating. He had spent most of the time travelling back asking Ava endless questions. Ava had to ask Anders to discretely cast a frost spell on the spirit, his rotting body getting worse in the heat of the sun, but not wanting to offend him.

'How are small people made?' Justice asked innocently out of the blue.

'Small people?' Ava asked dumbfounded, she had no idea what he was asking.

'Small versions of yourself.' he clarified.

'Ohhh, babies.' Ava coughed uncomfortably. She was unsure how to explain delicately. Oren had once asked her where babies come from. Conveniently her mabhari had caused a ruckus in the kitchen at the same time, Ava thanking the maker for his timely help and had run off. However she could see no way out of this conversation. 'Errrm...' she said, gathering her words. 'Well...'

'They say that when two people really love each other' Anders started. Ava thought her was going to be blunt and straight to the point, but she was pleasantly surprised when he continued 'they dream about a baby. The good spirits take them from the fade and leave them in your arms.'

Justice frowned, unsatisfied with the answer. 'But I have never seen any babies in the world I am from.'

'Yes, but you are a spirit of justice, not a spirit of giving, so you will not have seen any babies before.' Anders said smoothly, the lie rolling right out of his mouth. Ava imagined Anders used that silver tongue of his on many women, most gullible enough to fall for his charm.

'Oh, I see.' Justice said before pondering his next question.

Ava breathed a sigh of relief. She had somehow managed to once again avoid one of the most difficult questions an adult has to answer. She glanced at Anders and mouthed 'Thank you.'

He winked at her and grinned cheekily.

They soon found the sun was setting and need to set up camp for the night. They each fell into their roles within the camp before turning in for the night, leaving Justice on watch.

Ava fell asleep almost straight away, the journey taking its toll on her. When she woke she found herself in the darkness. She had no idea where she was and began to panic, her breathing becoming laboured.

'Warden commander.' she heard a voice whispering to her in the darkness.

Her hands grasped out, trying to find the source of the voice. She felt scared and had the instinct to run but found she did not have the will.

'Warden commander.' the voice rasped again.

Ava was unable to move, her legs rooted to the spot. 'Who's there.' she said, managing to keep her voice less shaky than she felt inside.

'I am the one called the Architect.' the voice said simply.

'I have no idea who you are.' she hissed, becoming frustrated at being unable to move her legs.

'Ah, but I know who you are and that is all that matters.' the voice said.

'Show yourself!' Ava shouted, feeling adrenaline flowing through her from her fear.

'As you wish.'

The darkness disappeared allowing light into the area. Her legs were now free from their invisible constraints. Her eyes ached from the sudden brightness. As her eyes adjusted to the light, she noticed a hazy figure in the room. She focused on the figure, her heart freezing in fright. The figure looked almost human, but she could tell from the thrumming in her veins from his presence that he was a darkspawn. His skin was a sickly grey colour and he was covered in mages robes. His fingers were long and magic was crackling at their tips. His face was the thing that scared her most of all, it's expression one of complete and utter adoration. Ava's voice was stuck in her throat.

'I have been waiting for you.' he said moving towards her slowly, gliding along the floor. Ava began crawling away from him, unable to find the strength to get up and run.

'What are you?' she finally whispered out, repulsed by the sight of the creature.

'That doesn't matter, all that matters is the thing that you are. I have never felt anyone like you.' he said, a soothing tone in his voice. Ava felt her back up against a wall, unable to move any further away from the creature. He reached a hand out and caressed her face, gentle, almost like a lovers touch. 'Can you not feel the connection between us?' he asked.

Ava could not deny it. She had never felt the taint so strong within another. She closed her eyes and tried to squirm her face away from his hands.

'It is time to go commander, but I want you to know that I look forward to seeing you again.'

She opened her eyes to find his face millimetres away from his, his eyes locked onto hers, his lips almost upon her own.

Ava screamed and bolted up on her bedroll. The Architect had gone and she was in camp. She touched her face, and realised she had been dreaming. Ava still felt uneasy, it had felt so real. She decided to get up, she would not return to sleep now. She opened the flap of her tent and found Anders on watch, bouncing lightning bolts between his palms. He looked at her concerned.

'Are you ok?' he asked letting the lightning fizzle out.

'I'm fine Anders, I just had a bad dream, it can happen a lot unfortunately.' she muttered, rubbing her hands over her face.

He nodded, deciding not to prod her, she would tell him if she wanted. She plonked herself next to him and the fire, touching shoulders with him. He tentatively placed an arm on her shoulders. Ava had missed the comfort of another's touch and leaned further into him. He squeezed her shoulder in reassurance and she rested her head on his shoulders. They sat together in comfortable silence until the sun rose.

As the group entered through the gate of the keep, Varel was practically jogging to meet them. 'Wardens, you have returned!' he called out.

'Varel, it is good to see you.' Ava called out in return, genuinely pleased to see the man. She held her arm out and he grabbed it, shaking it firmly.

'And you.' he said casting his eyes over the wardens letting them settle on Justice. His brows knitted together. 'Kristoff?'

'Varel, it is a long story.' Ava said, weary to the bone. 'But one that I feel you should know.'

She followed Varel into the throne room allowing the rest of the wardens to go to their rooms in order to rest. She told Varel everything that had happened in the Blackmarsh, leaving the part about Justice till last, she was sure he would not approve. She was right, he scowled all the way through her telling him what had happened with Kristoff's body.

'You do realise that Kristoff has a wife, Aura. There are going to be questions about his body.' he told her, a clear telling off in his voice.

'I know.' she muttered, feeling like a teenager again, being reprimanded by her parents. 'But I had no other choice at the time.' she said defending herself.

He sighed. 'If you feel it is for the best commander, then I shall support you if there are any repercussions.' he said, finally relenting.

Ava smiled at him. She realised at that moment what a loyal man Varel was. Even though he did not agree with her on all her decisions, he was willing to stand by her. And even though they did not know each other well, she knew she could trust him.

Ava practically hugged her bed. She had missed the softness beneath her. She contemplated the practicality of lugging her bed with her when they went travelling and chuckled at the ridiculousness of it. She had called the servants on the way to her room, asking for hot water to be brought for a bath.

She stripped out of her dragonscale armour, her fingers making quick work of the buckles. She looked at the armour and knew she would have several hours worth of work to get it clean, she sighed at the thought. She felt a little giddy at the thought of being clean. It was one of her most hated things about camping, the fact they had to make do with cloths and cold water. She had to stop herself from jumping into the bath, deciding the servants would be none too pleased at having to clean up the spilt water. She lay in the bath until the water had cooled and her fingers and toes had gone wrinkly from being exposed to the water too long. She left the bath, wishing she could spend more time in there. She thought about asking Anders to warm the water with his magic, but decided he would only see it as an invitation to join her. And besides she couldn't spend all day in there, she had work to do.

She covered herself with a robe and brushed her hair through, allowing it to fall down her back. She looked at her appearance in the mirror. She had bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep and her skin was pale and dry. She was just about to start dressing when she heard a hard, forceful knock at her door. She turned away from her vanity and was perplexed, not sure who would be so desperate to speak to her. She padded over to the door and opened it.

She scowled when she found it was Nathaniel. Even though the two of them had been travelling together for the past few weeks, she found she still disliked the man as much as she did the first time she laid eyes on him. 'Is everything ok?' she asked, suddenly becoming worried that something had happened, unable to find any other explanation for his presence.

His eyes briefly skittered across her form, before snapping back up to her face. To his credit, he looked embarrassed to find her in a state of undress.

'Yes, maybe I should come back later.' he mumbled, before having a change of mind, struggling internally with himself. If he didn't say anything now, he probably never would. 'Actually, I want to ask a question.'

'I think you should come in, its cold in the corridor.' she said shivering.

'Yes.' he said before stepping in. He noticed her room had a feminine smell to it. It was obvious to him that she had just finished bathing, the smell from her bath oils. He cursed himself, wishing he had waited for a more appropriate moment.

'Can I help you.' she asked curtly, still unsure why he had needed to see her so urgently, pulling her robes tighter in an attempt to warm herself.

'It's about my sister.' he said simply, his arms still folded firmly across his chest.

Ava tensed at the mention of his family, she was expecting an argument, wondering why it had taken him so long to get to this point. 'Yes.' she said, warily, prompting him to continue.

'I know that she is residing in Amaranthine. If we get the opportunity whilst in the city, I would like permission to seek her out.' he said, pained at having to ask Ava for anything.

Ava relaxed, it was not what she was expecting at all. But her blood boiled at the fact that he asked to attend to personal business. 'You are a grey warden first Howe.' she spat angrily. 'I cannot allow you to attend to personal matters whilst there are warden things to attend to first.'

'If it was Anders that asked you for something, you would help in a heartbeat!' he shouted back at her.

'You're right I would.' she grinned at him, a fake smile on her lips, mocking him.

He stepped right up to her face, his own inches from hers, staring straight into her eyes, never blinking. 'You are a selfish, spiteful woman!' he said quietly, his voice dangerously low, slowly saying each word.

Ava didn't move an inch, not willing to back down from his intense gaze, her veins throbbing with anger. 'Maybe I am.'

'You are not fit to be commander!' he hissed at her before stalking out of the door, slamming it on his way out.

She felt herself shaking at the confrontation, her knees weak. She sat herself down in a chair and closed her eyes. He was right, if any of the others had asked for something, she would help them instantly. But because he was a Howe, she would not.


	13. Out wearing their welcome

Chapter 13

The wardens remained in the keep for the next few weeks, Ava replying to all the correspondence that had gathered over the last month and managing the arling with Varel's help. She had finally written to Fergus, letting him know she was ok. She left out the bit about Nathaniel's conscription, she wasn't sure how he would take the news.

She hoped that when the darkspawn attacks were sorted she might be able to spend time with him. The thought of him alone in Highever caused a dull aching in her chest. Not only was it lonely for him, but the place held so many bad memories and was now tainted. She knew it would be difficult managing the terynir on his own.

After all the politics that she was dealing with, she would be glad to be back on the road. She was hoping to head to Amaranthine soon to sort out the smuggling ring.

Ava needed some fresh air. She had been stuck in the keep for what felt like forever, being outside would do her some good. She pushed the papers away from herself and headed out of her office. It was a beautiful sunny day and was warm. She enjoyed the feel of the sun on her face.

She sat down on the steps leading up to the keep and relaxed back on her elbows. She had her eyes closed, enjoying the outdoors, soaking in the sun when she heard a peculiar noise. She opened her eyes and scowled. There it was again, disturbing her peace and quiet. Her eyes surveyed the courtyard, trying to locate the direction the noise was coming from. She stood up, following the noise, looking behind crates of goods and peering round walls. She found the source of the noise, sat in a basket of linen left out by the servants. She looked at it and blinked once.

'Meow.' it said, blinking back at her and cocking its head to the side.

She bent down to examine it closer. 'Hello.' she cooed, scratching the top of its head between its ears.

'Meow.' it said in response, closing its eyes and purring in pleasure.

The noise was a cute kitten, its fur ginger and soft. It looked slightly bedraggled as though it had been uncared for, for some time.

'Are you hungry little fella?' she asked, scooping it up, cradling it in her arms. It gazed up at her with its big blue eyes.

She took the kitten back into the keep with her and took it to the kitchens. When she had found food for it an idea popped into her head. 'I know the perfect person who will look after you.' she babbled at the kitten. She searched the keep with the kitten in her arms, talking nonsense to it, gaining strange looks from the staff until she found him. He was sat in the dining hall with Nathaniel. She glowered at Nathaniel, wishing he was elsewhere. They had not spoken since their confrontation in her room a few nights ago.

'Anders, do you have a minute?' she asked, grinning at the mage, the kitten tucked away from sight.

'You can have more than a minute.' he said merrily, returning the grin with one of his own.

She placed the kitten into view and Anders' eyes lit up when he saw it. 'Do you want him?' she asked, unable to stop smiling at the expression on the mage's face, sure she already had her answer. Nathaniel just sat there dumbstruck and did what he was good at, scowling.

But Anders stopped smiling and looked forlornly at the kitten. 'But I can't, we run into too many dangerous situations, it wouldn't be safe for him.'

'Of course we can.' she said, placing the kitten in Anders' arms. The kitten meowed at Anders and started making itself comfy on his lap. 'We have people at the keep who can look after him, and I'm sure he's tougher than he looks.'

'Thank you.' Anders said, his eyes on the kitten in front of him. The kitten jumped on the table and pounced on one of Nathaniel's fingers that was tapping on the table. Anders chuckled whilst Nathaniel glared at the kitten and moved his fingers away. 'I'm going to call him ser pounce-a-lot.' he said.

'Are you sure?' Ava asked, watching as Anders dangled a piece of cotton in front of the kitten.

'If the name fits...' he answered.

'I also wanted to let you both know that we are going to Amaranthine tomorrow so make the most of your beds. She sighed heavily, she'd had enough time away from her office. She would have to get back to work otherwise Varel would be pacing a hole in the carpet outside her office until she got back. She excused herself from the table. As soon as she left Anders turned to Nathaniel.

'Our commander is amazing.' Anders said, looking after Ava dreamily, then back at ser pounce-a-lot.

'If you say so.' Nathaniel grumbled. He did not understand how she could be so hard and callous one minute, and be so warm and friendly the next. But he didn't spend long pondering the idea, pushing all thoughts of his commander from his head.

Ava entered her office and shut the door, just to be nearly barrelled over by a very flustered looking Varel. She was immediately concerned by his demeanour, he was normally placid and mild mannered. She was worried about what had got the man so agitated.

'Sodding hell, Varel, what's wrong.' she said, inwardly scolding herself at her language, she had spent too much time with the dwarf.

'I do not mean to alarm you commander.' he rushed out, breathless from running to find her.

'It's too late for that.' she growled out, becoming immediately impatient with the man.

'Some of the cellars caved in during the darkspawn attack, I have been informed that there still may be darkspawn in the vigil.'

'Makers breath.' she muttered as the gravity of the situation sunk in. 'I need you to round up the wardens and inform them, I need to get armoured up.' she shouted back at him from over her shoulder, running from the room.

Within the hour the wardens were delving into the basement of the keep. The structure had been crumbling for years and was in desperate need of repair. The stone walls were damp and covered in mould. The floors were no better, moss and weeds finding their way through the cracks.

'How far do these basements go?' Ava asked, looking at Nathaniel for answers.

'No one really knows for sure, the keep was built in the barbarian times. The basement always scared me as a child, there is something unsettling about the place.' he muttered, his hand scratching the back of his neck, uncomfortable at being in a place he had feared once.

The soldiers had moved the rubble away, allowing the wardens access to what lay behind. They had no idea what was in store for them. They descended the rickety wooden stairs, each one creaking under their weight. Ava looked at Nathaniel, unsure if the stairs would take his weight, he was the heaviest of the bunch. She chuckled at the image of him falling through the stairs. He scowled at her, wondering if she had lost her mind.

They opened a wooden door into a wide room filled with ancient crumbling statues. She immediately focused on an injured mabari in the room, her fur matted with blood, curious why it was so far down. Ava approached the animal cautiously. Even though she was used to dealing with mabari hounds, she did not know if the animal was dangerous, especially when injured. Ava held her hand out for the animal to smell. When she had no response she stroked the animal, in a soothing manner, allowing the animal to rest its head on her lap. As her hand followed down the mabari's neck she felt a piece of paper in its collar. She unrolled the scroll and read it. A woman had taken refuge in the basement of the keep. The mabari's head had become heavy and when Ava peered down at the animal, she realised that she had passed on.

Nathaniel had appeared over her shoulder to see what she was looking at. He read the letter and inhaled sharply. 'Adria?' he asked, reading the name in the letter. 'I know her, she was like a mother to me, we _must_ save her.' he sounded so desperate, pain in his voice. There was little chance that the woman was alive after so long in the basement without aid. All Ava could do was offer a nod.

They explored deeper into the keeps basement, navigating their way through endless corridor after corridor. Ava had no idea how long they had been under the keep. Occasionally they would come to a room. They would either be filled with rotting furniture from too long in the damp environment, or crates filled with objects stored away and probably forgotten about.

Ava felt them before she saw them and she heard Anders gasp behind her.

'Andraste's knicker weasels! What's that?' he spluttered, looking at his hands, then touching the nape of his neck.

'You are feeling darkspawn, I told you about it after the joining.' Ava explained, unsheathing her weapons, preparing herself for the onslaught that was coming their way. If she could feel them, they would in turn be able to sense the wardens.

'It's...It feels...strange.' he said, struggling to explain the sensation.

'There are no words for it.' Ava said simply.

They had no further chance to discuss it, the room was filled with darkspawn. It was only a small group, but worrying all the same. It was unsettling that they had managed to get in. The group were finished off quickly and smoothly.

The further the wardens got into the keep, the more frequent the groups of darkspawn became. The air was becoming more stale and humid, making it difficult to breath, the heat becoming almost unbearable. They had come so far, they would not be able to turn back now.

The group continued, finding a strange room, not like the others. It had two levels, stairs leading into the lower level of the room. Around the walls, in crevices, sat ancient sarcophaguses. Ava removed a gauntlet, running her hand over one. Her fingers found their way past the thick layer of dust to find intricate, beautiful patterns covering the sarcophagus. She was fascinated, she had never seen anything like it.

'There history of the vigil is long. There are rumours that the vigil once belonged to Avvar barbarians who used it as a fortress. It appears as though these sarcophaguses are of Avvar make.' Nathaniel said, also touching the sarcophagus, equally as fascinated with them.

Ava snorted at the history lesson, but did not speak. Nathaniel glared at her, not needing words to understand what Ava was getting at.

They felt them before they saw them, the ground beneath their feet parting to reveal creatures of the undead. The wardens fought them easily, not really giving much effort to the battle.

Ava began herding the group from the room. As the others made their way up the stairs and out of the door, something caught Ava's eye. It was a plain sack, and Ava could not say what drew her to it. She untied the string, holding the sack closed. She pulled the sack open to reveal some letters and a bow. Ava didn't need to be an expert to know the bow was well crafted, but was in need of repair. She began placing the items into her pack when her breath became lodged in her throat. On the bow was the Howe crest. After she got over her initial shock at seeing the crest, she placed the items in her bag. What she really wanted to do was to burn the lot, but the sensible part of her knew that they needed money and that the bow would bring a good price. She jogged lightly up the stairs, leaving the strange room behind her, catching up to her companions, none of them wondering what had kept her so long.

They eventually entered a room filled with cells, the bars rusting in the damp conditions. Figures rushed out of the shadows at them, their hands clawing out, desperately trying to grab hold of them. The wardens were caught off guard and scrambled to reach for their weapons. Ava recognised what the figures were, even if the others did not. Their pallor sickly grey in colour, dark blotches on their bodies where they had come into contact with the taint. They were ghouls, becoming twisted and corrupted from exposure to the taint. The ghouls were not armed, having once been prisoners of the keep, and were killed easily, their bodies now limp and lifeless.

The corridors began to change appearance as they moved deeper and deeper, becoming less structured and more like tunnels. They spotted a figure with its back to them, turning round when it heard them approaching. Ava saw Nathaniel's shoulders tense at the sight of the figure, and could only guess this was Adria.

'Adria...' he whispered, his eyes widening at the sight of her face. It was the same clammy grey with dark bruises on her skin as the ghouls they saw before. 'We must save her.' Nathaniel said, walking nearer the figure, holding his hand out for her.

But the creature did not return the gesture, and screeched loudly before lunging towards Nathaniel. He reeled from the shock and pulled back, the creature managing to grip his leathers. Ava stepped forward to intervene, but stopped when she saw something shining in Nathaniel's hand. He plunged the object into Adria's stomach. Her body became limp, her hands loosening the grip on his leathers. Her eyes glazed over, blood pooling around her feet. Ava looked at Nathaniel, his face an expression of anguish and distress, staring at the dying woman in his arms.

Ava noticed what Adria was looking at when they had found her. There was a huge pile of rubble blocking what looked like another tunnel. She touched the rubble gently, wary about disturbing the debris. It looked like it was going to be difficult to clear. They would need to go back to the surface and get extra hands to clear a path, but she was satisfied there was no immediate danger to the keep at present.

The wardens got back to the surface of the keep late into the evening, dirty, hungry and tired. Nathaniel had carried Adria's body the entire way back, insistent that he would not leave her there. Ava glanced at him as they made the way across the courtyard, back into the vigil. It was hard to mistake that he was grieving. His shoulders were slumped and he looked utterly defeated. Ava felt pity for the man, almost.


	14. Memories

Chapter 14

They had a brief rest over night at the vigil, Ava making the most of her bed, she knew she would not be seeing it for a few weeks, they would be on the road to Amaranthine shortly. Ava also decided to have a hearty breakfast, deciding to take full advantage of the creature comforts of the keep before they were roughing it.

She made her way to the dining hall to find it was full of the other wardens, all of them seeming to have the same idea. Oghren was biting into a chunk of meat on the bone, juices from the meat dribbling onto his beard, much to the disgust of Anders who was sat opposite from the dwarf, but unable to tear his eyes away from the mess. He was also swigging ale from a pewter jug, allowing the contents to slosh on the table. Breakfast wouldn't be breakfast without ale according to the dwarf. Nathaniel was a noble man through and through, his manners instilled in him from a young age, eating politely.

Ava helped herself to a bowl of porridge oats and placed some berries on the top. Ava noticed Justice with the group even though he was not eating. Kristoff's body was already dead and therefore did not need the substance, and the spirit of justice had no need for food. But the spirits insatiable curiosity was back.

'I wish to know what food tastes like.' he said suddenly, watching Anders spooning food in his mouth.

'I know your already creepy, but it's even creepier when you watch me eat.' Anders said, frowning and turning away.

'All food tastes different.' Ava said, motioning to different foods with her hands.

'Then I wish to try what Oghren is having.' he said, eyeing the meat clasped in the dwarf's hands.

Ava shrugged, it was a reasonable request. She placed her spoon back in the bowl and plated some of the meat, boar leg, on a plate and handed it to the spirit. He picked it up, eyeing the meat suspiciously, turning it over and inspecting every inch. He then brought the leg up to his nose, sniffing in short bursts. He cautiously placed the leg to his lips, daintily nibbling the edge.

'Not like that, you're eating like a girl.' Oghren said, his mouth still full of food, spitting particles across the table. Ava was glad that neither Anders or Nathaniel noticed. 'You need to get your teeth into it.' he said demonstrating, sinking his teeth firmly into the tender flesh.

Justice opened his mouth wide and shoved the leg into his mouth, biting deep into the meat. He chewed with a thoughtful expression on his face. Ava smiled warmly at the spirit. She noticed Anders watching her intensely, blushing at the depth of his stare. He grinned at her blush. Ava dragged her attention back on Justice. He was contemplating something.

'That was...' he said, finding it difficult to express what he was feeling.

'Nice?' she asked, helping him find his words 'Sometimes people eat for pleasure.'

'I know something else people do for _pleasure_.' Anders said, looking at Ava.

'Your world is full of many wonderful things.' Justice said, heartily finishing his boar leg, copying Oghren when he licked the juices from his fingers. Ava chuckled at the sight of the two men.

They quietly finished eating their breakfast when Varel entered the dining hall, motioning for Ava to come and join him.

'Commander, I believe we have a problem.' he said, hurriedly.

'What is it Varel?' she said, becoming agitated with the seneschal, wanting him to get to the point.

'Kristoff's wife, Aura is in the courtyard.' he almost hissed out.

Ava felt her heart quicken at the news, she was going to have to break the bad news to his wife. They hadn't had chance to discuss what they were going to say to her. She wanted to run away from the situation, but she would have to go and face the problem head on. Ava didn't notice she was followed by the other wardens, Justice with them.

'Kristoff, it is good to see you.' Aura said, running to Justice, but slowing down as she got nearer. Ava turned round, shocked to see Justice there. She hadn't wanted Aura to find out like this. 'Kristoff?' she said, frowning at his appearance. 'What has happened to you.' her hand covering her mouth in shock.

'I have some news for you...' Ava started before she was interrupted by Justice.

'Your husband is gone.' he said bluntly. Aura's eyes widened in surprise at the voice that was not her husband's. 'I am a spirit of justice from the fade. I have inhabited his body, and I will avenge his death.'

'Death!' Aura screamed.

'Kristoff was killed when fighting darkspawn.' Ava said softly, trying to break the news gently.

'You have desecrated his body, how dare you.' Aura shouted, tears rolling down her face.

'It was not intentional...' he began, attempting to explain himself, nearing Aura.

'Get away from me.' Aura screamed before running away through the gate of the vigil. Ava and Justice stared after her retreating form.

'This body has memories of this woman, I had no idea she would come.' Justice said, his voice betraying an emotion that the spirit could not explain. 'I must make amends somehow as I have caused this woman great pain. This body's memories tell me her home is in Amaranthine. I would like to seek her out to make amends.'

'That is very noble of you Justice, I will help you look for her.' Ava said, knowing they could spare the time to help the woman. She moved to head inside gesturing for the others to follow her.

Ava was in her room packing when there was an urgent knocking on the door. Ava sighed heavily before opening the door surprised to find a female soldier, who could only be described as looking petrified.

Ava was not a patient woman and seeing the soldier there could only mean one thing, some matter which needed addressing, preventing her from getting on the road to Amaranthine. However, she was not a barbarian and she could clearly see the woman was scared witless. So instead of being short tempered, she reined in her impatience and smiled encouragingly at the woman.

'W...w...warden commander, I have urgent correspondence for y..you.' she stuttered nervously, not managing to look Ava in the eye.

'It's ok, I don't bite.' Ava said. 'Despite what you may have heard about me.' Ava joked, attempting to put the woman at ease. 'Come in whilst I read the correspondence.'

The soldier gingerly stepped past Ava in to the room, handing Ava the letters on the way past. Ava ripped quickly into the first letter, eager to be heading to Amaranthine. As Ava's eyes skimmed across each line, her hopes of leaving for Amaranthine were becoming less and less likely. She finished the letter and sighed wearily. She tore open the other letter and upon finishing it, let out an audible groan. She put the letters down and rubbed both her hands across the face, before letting them settle on either side of her face, resting her fingertips at her temples, rubbing her fingertips in small circles. She had made a decision before finishing the last letter, one that would throw her previous plans out of the window. The first letter was from a farmer living at Turnoble estate, claiming her family were under constant threat from darkspawn. The second letter was from a Lord Bensley, whose daughter had been kidnapped, and the kidnappers were demanding money for her safe return.

She was quiet for some time, gathering her thoughts. 'Would you be able to gather Varel and the wardens for me in the throne room? And tell the wardens to armour up.'

'Yes commander' the soldier said, practically dragging the door off the hinges in her haste to leave the room.

Ava continued packing away supplies that she knew she would need for the journey ahead. She began strapping herself into her dragonscale armour, her fingers working quickly on the buckles. She ran her fingers over the links in her armour. She always admired the handiwork of the armour each time she put it on, smiling as her mind filled with memories of the crafter and his partner. She stood up and slung her backpack over her shoulder, catching a glance of herself in the mirror as she did so. She looked like crap. She looked one last time, longingly at her bed and shut the door.

The wardens and Varel gave her a curious look when she entered the throne room, unsure of the sudden meeting.

'We have a problem.' she simply stated. 'Whilst my first duty is to the wardens, my second duty is to the arling. Some of my vassals are in trouble and I have to attend to them.' She handed the letters round to the wardens, letting them read them themselves, not mustering the energy to explain the sudden change of plans. She was bracing herself for an argument, but was pleasantly surprised.

'Wherever you go I will follow.' Oghren shrugged nonchalantly.

'You're the commander, who am I to doubt you' Anders said, grinning widely her.

'Another chance for me to see more of your world.' Justice added, contemplating something.

Ava looked at Nathaniel expecting him to disagree with her. 'If we are to succeed as grey wardens in Amaranthine, then we will need support from the vassals.' was all he simply offered her. She blinked blankly at him, and he scowled back at her, annoyed that she think that he could not see reason.

'We will stop briefly at Amaranthine to stock up our supplies, stay at the inn for the evening and then head to Turnoble estate to assess the situation there, before heading to the Forlorn cove to rescue Eileen, Lord Bensley's daughter.' Ava said, before speaking to Varel, leaving the wardens to talk amongst themselves.

They were on the road by mid morning. The keep had horses, but Ava had never really taken to riding and found it much easier to get around on foot. She had promised Varel she would be back with in the month, unsure of how long it would take to sort out the problems. Ava was lucky to have Varel, she knew she would not be able to manage the arling without him.

They travelled for several days, the wardens enjoying each other's company, only Ava's attitude towards Nathaniel spoiling the mood. They were almost at Amaranthine, stopping to set up camp for the night. They had eaten their meal and were sat round the fire telling each other tales.

'Commander, you must have tales of the blight?' Anders asked. 'I never heard much about what happened, I was in solitary confinement at the time.'

'It is a long story, but I do have some tales if you are interested.' Ava said, smiling fondly of the memories. Even though the circumstances of the blight were bleak, they provided Ava with some of her best times.

'I am definitely interested.' said Anders, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

'I am also curious about your tales.' Justice said, adjusting himself into a comfier position.

Nathaniel said nothing, but leaned forward to hear her better, secretly interested in her story.

'Well, one time, we had to kill a high dragon...' she started.

'You are having me on.' Anders snorted, but was completely hooked to her words.

Ava laughed heartily. 'I'm not, and it becomes more unbelievable. We had to find allies to aid us against the threat of the blight. One such ally we needed was Arl Eamon. Unfortunately, he had been poisoned, due to his involvement in politics and the civil war.' Ava continued. Anders shuffled closer, eager to hear more of her tale. Nathaniel and Justice also seemed to be enthralled by her story. Oghren was not so interested as he had been there, but he was listening all the same. 'He had been visited by some of the best mages Ferelden had to offer, but nothing would cure the man. It seemed as though there were nothing more we could for him. Until someone mentioned the healing powers of the ashes of Andraste.'

'As in the prophetess Andraste?' Anders scoffed, becoming more and more doubtful of her words.

'As difficult as it may seem to believe, I am telling the truth.' she said, chuckling at the mage. Oghren simply nodded at her words, agreeing with her. 'However on our way to the temple we encountered a extremist cult who believed that Andraste had returned to us in dragon form. As we neared the final resting place of Andraste we were attacked by a high dragon.' Ava was enjoying telling the story, allowing her mind to travel back to the memory

_Ava had brought with her Alistair, the strength of her team, Morrigan, the powerful witch and Zevran, the deadly assassin. She had left the others behind as they had no way of telling if there were anymore cultists in the strange village of Haven._

_They had exited the ruined temple, allowing their eyes to adjust to the brightness of outside and breathing in the fresh air. Ava scanned the horizon, finding a doorway a few hundred yards from where they were stood. She pointed to the door and motioned for her companions to follow her. _

_They had taken but a few steps before hearing a loud swooshing noise above them. Ava looked up, shielding her eyes from the blinding sun and almost fell over from the shock. There was a huge dragon circling over their heads, its scales glistening in the sun. It's eyes focused on the group and swooped down. Ava shouted for the group to drop to the floor, Alistair barely making it down in time, his heavy armour cumbersome, not made for easy movements. The dragons claw scrapped across his left pauldron. As the dragon circled round to swoop again, the group scrambled to their feet, drawing their weapons. The dragon again barrelled down upon the group, but they were much more prepared._

_Ava and Zevran elegantly rolled out of the way of the dragons claws, Alistair and Morrigan falling to the floor. However this time, before the dragon had time to rise up again, Zevran had returned to his feet and expertly spun through the air, leaping towards the dragons right wing, his dagger snagging on the delicate skin, splitting the wing in two. The dragon emitted a shrill cry of pain and was unable to fly, falling awkwardly to the floor._

_The group set upon the beast immediately. Morrigan sending powerful blasts of magic to the dragon, flitting between ice and lighting, and standing far enough away from the creature to receive no damage. Alistair spent most of the battle taunting the dragon, keeping its attention away from the others, protecting himself from its fire breath with his shield. Ava and Zevran nimbly danced between the dragons legs, gaining crucial hits to the dragons underbelly. _

_Alistair was becoming tired, his concentration waning. He misjudged the dragons movements, allowing it to swipe at him with its open mouth. Its jaws clamped down, crunching the metal of his armour and throwing him to the floor in a crumpled heap. Ava resisted the urge to run to his side and allowed the rage to flow through her. She roared before dropping a dagger and holding one between both hands. She ran under the dragon, her dagger raised above her head. The dagger bounced off a hard scale, but she was determined to kill the thing and continued running until the tip broke through the scales and penetrated the muscles beneath, severing vital arteries and organs. She darted out of the way, blood flowing over her, before the dragon fell and ran to the side of Alistair._

'_Alistair!' she shouted, shaking him hard. He stirred slowly and groaned, holding his hand to his head. 'Oh thank the Maker!' she said, breathing a sigh of relief, when he began sitting up._

_Morrigan and Zevran stood behind Ava, looking at Alistair. Morrigan had her arms firmly crossed across her chest, scowling whilst Zevran was standing in his usual graceful way, his eyebrows raised at the pair._

_Alistair opened his eyes to look at Ava and smiled a lob sided smile. 'You look like you have been in the wars my love.' he said, eyeing the blood splattered on her._

_Ava scoffed at the statement. 'You are one to talk.' motioning for him to look at his own armour._

'_Well, about that. I was thinking about starting a new fashion trend, screwed up armour will be all the rage in Denerim by the time I'm finished.' he said, grinning at her boyishly. Ava laughed at his humour, he always had a way of lightening even the darkest situation._

Ava finished her story, looking at the other wardens who were staring at her intently. Ava felt a aching throb in her heart. She had not spoke about Alistair since coming to vigils keep, mentioning him had opened old wounds.

'Is Alistair the hero king of the blight?' asked Anders, eager for more details. 'I heard the templars talking of his bravery.'

Ava could only nod, a lump forming in her throat, preventing words from escaping her mouth. She stood up to leave, not wishing the others to see her tears, especially Nathaniel, and walked to a clearing not far from the camp, finally allowing her tears to fall, sobs racking her body.

Oghren saw the confused expressions on their faces. 'The commander and Alistair had fallen in love during the blight.' he explained. 'They used to make me sick sometimes, they were so loved up. But then the pike twirler went and died slaying the archdemon, and she blamed herself. She believed it was her that was meant to die.' he finished gruffly.

The conversation died down after that, an invisible darkness descended over the camp. Ava finally stumbled back to camp a few hours later to find Oghren still up, apparently having taken the first watch. He nodded over at Ava, acknowledging her presence. He looked at her face, still red and puffy from her tears.

'I'm sorry about before Oghren, it was foolish of me.' her voice hoarse from crying.

He simply shook his head, dismissing her apology. 'There is nothing to apologise for. It shows a strong person to be able to carry on doing what you are doing commander, and you are doing a fine job.'

'Thank you.' she whispered.

'And I miss the lad too.' he said quietly in response.


	15. Discovery

Chapter 15

Despite her earlier upset Ava drifted into a dreamless slumber quickly, the events of the past few weeks taking their toll on her. She was in a deep sleep when she was roused by a callused hand on her mouth. At first her eyes flickered sleepily open, but then her instincts kicked in and her eyes shot open. It was dark in the tent, the fire flickering outside, offering little light. Her eyes adjusted to the dark and she saw something glinting. It took only a split second for her to realise it was a dagger. The figure in the dark held the weapon up to her neck, and placed a finger against his lips, motioning for silence. Another figure was behind the man holding the dagger. Her heartbeat instantly increased in speed at the impending danger and felt as though it was trying to thump its way out of her chest. She felt adrenaline coursing through her veins. She made a quick decision.

She kicked out with all her might at the figure, managing to get her foot in the man's gut. The figure was momentarily shocked, losing his grip on her mouth, but slicing her neck in the process. She took the opportunity and screamed, hoping to get the attention of someone in the camp. She scuffled with the figures, managing to keep the dagger away from her before someone charged into her tent. In a few seconds the man she was grappling with went slack, blood coming from the sides of his mouth. She managed to push him away from her. She saw Nathaniel with a dagger in his hand, covered with the man's blood. He fought with the remaining figure, overpowering the man and stabbing him through the heart. He dropped the dagger and immediately went to Ava's side, inspecting her neck. She must have roused him from sleep, his normally braided hair was loosened and she noticed that he was only wearing cotton trousers.

'Are you ok?' he asked bluntly, dropping to his knees to inspect the wound on her neck.

'I'm fine.' she managed to squeak out, feeling weak now the adrenaline was wearing off. She frowned at him before slapping his hands away. He narrowed his eyes at her before standing back up.

'You stubborn woman.' he hissed.

She heard the flap to her tent open, and saw the others looking at her with concern.

'I only shut my eyes for a moment.' Oghren muttered, looking deeply ashamed with himself.

'It's ok Oghren, no harm done.' Ava said, she knew it was difficult staying awake, especially when taking watch on your own.

'It's not ok.' Nathaniel said, moving to allow Anders in to heal her neck and scowling at the dwarf. 'They could have killed us all.' he growled.

'It's never a dull moment around you commander.' Anders said, using his skills to knit the skin back together on her neck, looking at her admiring his own handiwork. 'Who was that man?' he asked.

'I'm not sure, probably a bandit, hoping to make some easy money.' Ava said, rubbing her neck, running her hand over where the wound had been. It felt as though there were never anything there.

'I'm going to go scouting, see if there are anymore bandits around.' Nathaniel said, leaving her tent to get his armour and bow.

Ava told the other wardens to try and get some sleep. She quickly changed, left her tent and sat by the fire and waited up until Nathaniel returned. She stared into the fire, mesmerized by the flames, her mind wandering. She was pondering what had happened in her tent. Nathaniel had not hesitated in helping her, he was quick to come to her assistance. Had it been the other way round would she have been so quick to help him? She knew he was her brother in arms, and once you joined the wardens, your past was forgotten. But she could not put her personal feelings aside, she was too bitter. But what did this mean? Thinking about it was making her head ache. She heard footsteps, and her eyes shot up rapidly, her hearting thumping again, she remained on high alert from earlier.

'Did you find anything?' she asked, looking at his quiver of arrows and noticed there was fewer than before, already knowing the answer.

'I found a bandit camp, not too far from here. I managed to stay in the shadows, they did not see me until it was too late.' he said, smirking.

'Why don't you try and get some rest, I won't be able to sleep now.' Ava said, rubbing the heels of her hands into her eyes. 'And Nathaniel,' she said, her voice shaking. He looked at her, his eyes meeting hers, 'thank you.' she finished quietly, surprised that she felt genuinely grateful for his aid.

He held her gaze for a few seconds, before breaking contact and nodded at her before entering his tent. She sat by the fire and waited for morning to come, her mind losing itself in thoughts about what had occurred.

They made it to Amaranthine by mid afternoon. Ava noticing the situation with the refugees still remained the same outside the city. They headed straight to the inn, booking rooms for the night, luckily there was enough for each of them this time.

'Okay, I'm going to give you five sovereigns each, get yourself some supplies. You all know what you need better than I do.' Ava said, placing coins into each of their hands. Justice thumbed the money carefully, inspecting every inch of the coins.

'I have no idea what to do with this.' he finally said, handing the coins back to Ava.

'It's ok Justice, I can get you supplies. Would you rather stay here?' she asked sympathetically.

'The spirit nodded his response to her. 'I would like to think for a while, this body has a lot of memories of this place, and I would like to be alone.'

'Hey, if he gets to stay here, then so do I!' Oghren said to Ava, but his eyes were already eyeing the waitress with her tray full of ale, licking his lip in anticipation.

'Well you don't need five sovereigns, I'm not letting you piss away all our money. But if you promise to behave whilst I'm gone, you can keep one sovereign for ale.' she said wagging her finger at him like a nagging housewife.

He shrugged. 'I always behave, you know me commander.' he said grinning at her.

'Unfortunately, I do know you. You do behave, but not always in the right way, that's why I need you to promise.' She crossed her arms in front of her chest, leaning her weight onto one hip, tapping her foot, giving him her best commanding look.

'Oh alright! Just quit with yer nagging woman! You sound just like Felsi.' Oghren pleaded with her.

Ava smirked at her triumph, before turning away from Oghren. What Ava didn't see was Oghren shaking his head behind her back. He grinned mischievously at Anders and Nathaniel.

'What are you planning to buy commander?' asked Anders.

'I need some new clothes, I'm going to head to the tailors, then grab some poultices.' she answered.

'Ooooh, can I join you, I need some more robes.' Anders said showing her his frayed sleeves.

'Of course, I will be glad for the company.'

'Nathaniel?' Anders questioned the rogue when he said nothing.

Nathaniel had been brooding in the corner and shrugged his shoulders sullenly. He had been quieter than usual, plagued with thoughts of his sister. 'I suppose I will come with you.'

Ava, Anders and Nathaniel trudged through the marketplace looking at the wares on offer from the traders. Ava had missed this, doing normal things. Anders offered Ava an arm which she took and linked hers through, leaving Nathaniel to trail behind the pair. A few hours later, Anders had picked up two robes, holding them against himself to admire, Ava giggled at his antics, whilst Nathaniel just folded his arms and rolled his eyes at the pair.

'Nathaniel?...' a meek voice asked.

Nathaniel's head nearly snapped from his neck trying to locate the voice in the throng of people. His face lit up like Ava had never seen before when he spotted a woman, pulling her with his strong arms into a hug. Ava knew exactly who the woman was, the family resemblance hard to miss, although Anders apparently did.

'How did Mr grumpy get a woman?' Anders asked seeing the emotional display between the pair, mistaking it for a lovers reunion.

'Does she not look familiar?' Ava questioned, waiting patiently for understanding to hit the mage.

'Ohhhh...' he simply said, the penny finally dropping.

Nathaniel cupped the woman's petite face tenderly between his masculine hands. 'Delilah, is it really you?' he asked softly, his eyes searching her face.

'Yes Nathaniel.' she answered, tears of joy rolling from her eyes. Ava felt she and Anders were intruding in a private moment, but Nathaniel didn't seem to notice they were still there, all his attention on his sister.

'I am glad to have found you, I thought you had died.' his voice quaking with emotion.

'I also had feared the worst.' she said, closing her eyes, and opening them again, as though this was a dream and she expected him to have disappeared.

'Please come back with me to the keep, you don't have to live like this.' he said, gesturing to her peasant clothes.

Delilah chuckled softly. 'I choose to live like this.' she said mimicking his motions, mocking him. 'I adore Albert, my husband. I am also glad to be away from the keep, away from fathers evil.' her expression changed, sneering at the mention of her father, the hatred for her father coming from her in waves. It was the last thing Ava had expected her to say and she was unable to hide her surprise.

'Fathers evil?' Nathaniel was shocked at the change of tone in her voice at the mention of their father. 'Are you not exaggerating things?'

'No, I am not.' she said firmly. 'You were not here Nathaniel, you do not know what he became. You were always blinded by your unconditional love for the man, but things had worsened when you were away. Even you could not forgive him for the things he did.' she finished gently.

'Delilah, why are you saying these things?' His hands gripped her face harder, searching her eyes for the truth.

'I say them because they are true.' she implored with him, placing her small hands over his to emphasise the words. 'If you want the person who destroyed our family, look no further, it was our own father, without question.'

Nathaniel's hands fell from her face, reeling at the revelation. Her words were like a punch in the stomach. He felt as though his own world was crumbling, everything he had believed, shattered in a few moments.

Delilah moved around from Nathaniel, stepping closer to Ava taking Ava's hands in her own. Ava was dumbfounded, unable to move her hands away even though she desperately wanted to. 'I just want to say I am so sorry about what happened to your family, I just hope you can forgive mine.' Delilah said, her words were few but Ava could see she was sincere and honest with her words. She loosened her grip on Ava's hands and Ava slowly moved her hands away. Delilah moved away again, taking Nathaniel's hand. 'Come Nathaniel, we have much to discuss.'

Nathaniel gave no resistance to her request, and followed her not looking back, leaving Ava and Anders in the marketplace.

'Well, that was entertaining.' Anders said, breaking into the awkward silence that had fallen over them.

'Indeed.' she muttered.

They continued shopping for the next few hours, but Ava's heart wasn't in it anymore, her mind drifting back to the exchange between Nathaniel and Delilah. She headed to the city's blacksmith to get the Howe bow she found restrung, it would bring a better price that way. They eventually ended up back at the inn. They were welcomed to the sight of Oghren stood on top of a table, singing a dirty pirate song, surrounded by a group of men, saluting him with a mug of ale in their hands. Ava didn't know how he did it, she had been gone a couple of hours! She folded her arms and stared at him, waiting for him to catch her eye. It took him a couple of seconds to see her. He grimaced when he caught the look on her face. The song ended abruptly and the group of men disbanded.

She didn't need to say anything to the dwarf for him to know he was in trouble. They ate their evening meal at the inn, the group much quieter than usual. By the time they had returned to their rooms to retire for the evening, Nathaniel had still not returned.

Ava had already changed into her nightgown when she found herself padding down the corridor in her bare feet. She was worried that Nathaniel had not returned. Even though she did not like the man, she could not deny the man was skilful, and important to the wardens. She was debating with herself whether to knock on his door or not, thinking she was worrying over nothing, when the door abruptly opened. Ava leapt back in fright, not expecting the door to open. Nathaniel was stood in the doorway, wearing only a pair of thin cotton trousers and a dagger in his hand. His hair was ruffled. Ava felt herself blush at being so easily scared and the fact that he was not wearing much. She blushed even more when she realised that neither was she.

'How did you know I was here.' she managed to squeak out.

'I sensed someone was outside the door, it's late at night and I assumed it was someone trying to break in.' he said, waving the dagger in his hand, as if to make a point. 'What are you doing here?'

'You did not return tonight, I wanted to make sure you were here.' Ava shivered from her lack of clothes, a breeze blowing through the corridor.

'I got back from Delilah's late, we had...much to talk about.' he moved away from the doorway to allow her access to his warm room. She headed straight to the roaring fire, warming her hands, her back to him. They were quiet for a few minutes, the atmosphere thick in the room. Nathaniel sat down on the bed, eyeing her warily, unsure why she would be here so late at night. He shifted his eyes away quickly when her realised that her nightdress was almost see through, the light from the fire providing him with an eyeful. She continued to shiver, so he pulled a thick blanket from his pack, handing it to her, before returning to sit on the edge of his bed, resting his elbows on his knees, looking at his hands.

'I wish to know something.' Ava said, quietly breaking the silence in the room. He remained silent, so she continued, taking it as a cue to carry on. 'You came to my aid so quickly last night with the bandits, you didn't even hesitate. Why did you do that?' she finished, biting her bottom lip in apprehension of his answer.

'What would you have me do, let you die?' he asked, angry that she thought so little of him. Ava shrugged in response, looking at him over her shoulder. He carried on. 'You are my commander for one thing, whether I like it or not. And I would not let another person die if I could prevent it. I am not the man you think I am.' He looked up from his hands to look her in the eyes, unable to read her expression.

'Clearly not.' she muttered, before turning to look back at the fire.

She stood to leave, when he stood from the bed, grabbing her forearm to prevent her from leaving and turning her to face him. 'Wait. I...I need to apologise.'

She stiffened at his touch, but didn't shrug him away. She looked at his hand on her arm and then slowly to his face, looking straight into his eyes 'Why?'

'My father...he was not the man I thought he was.' he said, struggling to admit he was wrong.

'I don't know what to say.' she whispered truthfully, surprised that he was opening up to her.

'Then just listen. Delilah told me the truth about what my father did to your family. I thought he was just on the wrong side of the war, entangled in politics, but he was nothing but a greedy son of a bitch.' he growled angrily. 'I was livid at you for killing him and for making our family pariahs, but he did that, not you and for that I am sorry.' his eyes searching her face for some response.

The realisation hit her as hard as a punch in the face. Ava had been completely wrong about Nathaniel. She had been so angry about the death of her family and had directed her bitterness towards Nathaniel, resenting him, but he was just as much a victim of his father as she was. Nathaniel's only crime was to have the surname Howe. Ava closed her eyes in frustration with herself, she had allowed her emotions to blind her. Nathaniel was not his father.

'I...' she started, swallowing thickly at the emotions and thoughts circling around her head. She was confused, she was so sure she thought she knew the man in front of her. She swallowed her pride and said 'I suppose I owe you an apology as well. I thought you would be just like your father, but I was wrong about you Nathaniel Howe, you are nothing like him. And for that I am sorry.' she said, her voice shaking.

She pulled away from him, abruptly ending the conversation and left the room, not bothering to look back at the man standing there dumbstruck watching her leave.


	16. The truth hurts

The following chapter contains some topics people may find upsetting, please read with caution.

Chapter 16

Ava was not sure what had passed between Nathaniel and herself after their discussion last night. Something had shifted between them, but she was not sure what. They had left Amaranthine in the early hours of the morning, Ava keen to be on their way to the Turnoble estate. Nathaniel had barely spoken two words to her, and his attitude remained the same. They began to set up camp for the night and settled into the routine that was familiar to them.

After their evening meal, Ava spoke to the group. 'I think after the recent events in camp, it will be wise to partner up for night watch. If anything is to be learnt from the incident, it is that we can never be too cautious. Now we need to decide who is partnering who, we will draw twigs to make it fair.'

They each took a turn to pull twigs, Oghren pulling the longest twig, Anders and Justice pulling the medium length twigs, leaving Nathaniel with the shortest twigs. Ava cursed at her luck and looked up to find Nathaniel doing the same, She slowly uncurled her fingers holding the twig to find it the same length as Nathaniel's. 'Oghren, you don't have to take watch tonight, Anders and Justice will take first watch. Nathaniel and Myself have the second watch.' she muttered.

Ava turned in for the night, attempting to get some sleep, but was unable to drift off as her mind would not stop thinking about the upcoming watch that she had to take with Nathaniel. It would be the most time she had spent with him on her own. She must have eventually fallen asleep. She felt a strong hand on her shoulder, gently shaking her. Her eyes shot open and her instincts kicked in. She aimed to throw a fist into the face of the intruder, but was stopped by a hand firmly gripping her wrist. The intruder's reaction was lightning quick, as though they were expecting the move. Ava looked from the hand to the face of the intruder and saw Nathaniel peering down at her.

'Sorry.' he mumbled in apology. 'It's just that I called you and you wouldn't wake. He gently loosened his grip on her wrist before completely letting go.

'It's ok, you just scared me.' she said, rubbing her wrist with her other hand. She moved the warm blanket away from her body, and sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Nathaniel left her tent, closing the flap behind him. She quickly changed into a loose fitting tunic and a pair of warm leggings, attempting to keep the night chill away.

She left her tent and found Nathaniel poking the fire with a stick before adding more firewood, stoking the fire with the stick again. Ava plonked herself down heavily on a log by the fire, warming her hands, wiggling her fingers.

The camp was silent, the only noise from the fire crackling. Occasionally there would be the cry from a nearby animal. The atmosphere was tense and awkward between the two wardens. Ava felt her eyes becoming heavy, lack of sleep catching her.

They remained quiet for a good while before Nathaniel spoke. 'Can I ask you a question?'

Ava nodded her head, only half listening.

'My father, what were his last words before he died?'

Her mind suddenly became filled with thoughts of the poisonous Rendon Howe. 'Why do you ask?' she answered apprehensively. Nathaniel was walking on dangerous ground.

He stared into the distance, lost in his own thoughts. His voice was even. 'Despite what he did to your family, he was still my father. He raised me, and nurtured me until I left for the Free Marches. I am unable to just forget all that.'

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, she supposed he had a right to know. 'If you wish, I can tell you exactly what happened in his estate if you feel it will help you? But I warn you, it's not pretty. I will not gloss it over for you.'

He nodded, continuing to stare into the distance, his eyes trained on something that Ava could not see.

'It all began when Anora's servant Erlina came seeking help from Arl Eamon to rescue the queen from your father...'

_The group entered the Howe estate, sneaking past the mob of people gathered at the large gates to the estate. Ava decided it would be better if the group was smaller, bringing only Alistair, Zevran and Leliana. She brought the two other rogues for their skills in deception and sneaking. Alistair was not able to sneak anywhere, he was clumsy and heavy footed. But she knew she would need his strength and she did not want to be without him. _

_They kept their backs to the wall, easing their way past two guards. They would have made it all the way if Alistair had not stumbled on a rock, his heavy armour clattering loudly, alerting the guards to their presence. The guards charged to them. The rogues melted into the shadows, their skills better suited fighting from there. But before the rogues could even land a blow on the guards, Alistair stampeded towards them. He smashed his shield into one of the guards, catching him bluntly on his face, his mouth exploded with blood. The guard was dazed, leaving Alistair to bury his sword in his side, dropping the guard. He turned his attention to the next one. The guard bellowed at the sight of his companion dead on the floor. He swung his sword clumsily toward Alistair. Alistair parried his attack easily, the knock so forceful that the sword fell from the guard's hands. He looked at his sword on the ground and then at Alistair, his eyes widening at the sight of Alistair's sword barrelling its way towards his head. _

_Alistair finished the guards off in seconds. He turned to face the others and saw their expressions. He gave them a lob sided smile, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly and said 'What?'_

_They made it round to the servants entrance of the estate where Erlina was waiting for them. She gave them each a uniform instructing them to change, insuring them that she would keep their own armour safe until they needed it. She spun the guards keeping watch over the door a tale about darkspawn being spotted in the estate garden. They followed Erlina whilst the others made their way undetected through the servants door entering the estate._

_They made their way through the estate easily without being detected. They soon came to a door that had a mystical light surrounding it. Ava spotted Erlina outside and knew this was where Anora was being kept prisoner._

'_I'm afraid I cannot greet you properly warden. Howe was not content with keeping me under heavy guard. He had a mage cast a magical barrier around the door. If you find the mage then the spell will be broken and I will be free. He is most probably at Howe's side.' Anora shouted, her voice muffled from behind the door._

'_Howe will most likely be in his rooms at the bottom of the hall. Here, take your armour back, I have no doubt you will be needing it.' Erlina said, handing back their items. They armoured up quickly, leaving Anora and Erlina behind. They came to a large door at the end of the corridor. Ava tried the handle, pulling firmly. The door did not budge. Zevran slipped his hand into his leathers, gracefully pulling out a set of lock picking tools._

'_A locked door is like a woman, my dear warden. She is firm and hard. But if you have the right tools and work at it hard enough, she will give and open herself up for you.' he said, looking straight at her as he said it. Ava blushed at his words, and Alistair was positively fuming at the elf. He winked at Ava before he set to work on the lock. They all heard the click of the lock giving way. Zevran slowly opened the door, the group prepared for a fight as soon as the door swung open._

_The room was empty. Ava felt slightly disappointed that she would not get the chances to confront Howe. She sighed deeply, putting her weapons back in place. The room was exactly how she pictured it. It was lavishly furnished, with a huge bed in the middle of the room. She looked closer at something over the bed, not actually believing her eyes. There was a pair of manacles attached to the wall above the head rest. Ava could only imagine what they were used for. She felt the bile rising in her throat and turned away from the bed._

_There was a big portrait of Rendon Howe opposite the bed. She looked at the painting and saw the face of the man she wanted to kill looking mockingly at her. The portrait's face was level with her own. The artist had done a fantastic job. He had captured the man's arrogant and evil sneer perfectly. She quickly grabbed one of her daggers and slashed it across the portrait, splitting the canvas in two. She felt slightly better so did it again and again until the portrait was lying in ribbons at her feet. Her companions said nothing, allowing her to let her grief out._

_She turned away from the portrait, her eyes full of anger and hatred. Alistair moved to give her a hug. 'Don't.' she snarled, roughly pushing him away from her. 'I want to get on with finding the real thing.' and without another word, she began searching the room for clues to the Arl's whereabouts._

_She found a locked chest further across the room. She caught Zevran's eye and pointed to the chest. He thought about making an innuendo, but thought better of it with the mood Ava was now in. The chest opened thanks to Zevran and she looked inside to find some letters. She quickly flicked through them, about to toss them to the side when she saw something she recognised. It was the grey warden seal. She picked it out of the rest of the letters and opened it. She did not understand the words and realised it was probably in code. She showed the letter to Alistair and he shrugged, also unable to understand it._

_Whilst the others were looking through the chest, Leliana had been intensely fascinated with a bookcase. She ran her fingers over the spines of several books when she pulled one forward. The wall rumbled, leading the others to look over from the chest to the noise. The bookcase moved to reveal a set of stairs leading downwards to a thick wooden door. Leliana grinned at the discovery._

_Alistair led the group down, pushing heavily on the door to open it. They immediately saw a guard watching a cell. Before the group had time to do anything a long slender arm extended from the gaps through the bars and grabbed the guard round the neck. A second arm appeared, and grabbed the guards forehead. In one smooth movement, the arms had snapped the guards neck, dropping him to the floor in a heap. The arms fumbled in the guard's pockets for a key to the cell. Ava spread her arms against her companions, preventing them from moving nearer to the cell. They had no idea if the captive was dangerous._

_The door opened to reveal a tall slender man, wearing plain simple clothes. 'Thank you for providing a distraction, I have been waiting days for the opportunity.' the man said, squinting and looking directly at Alistair. Ava looked at Alistair to find him doing the same thing. 'By the maker...Alistair? Is that you?'_

'_Yes. I...I know you. You were at my joining.' Alistair said, looking at Ava. 'It's ok, he's one of us, a warden from Orlais.' he said, looking at the man again. 'I must apologise, I don't remember your name.'_

_The other warden bowed at them. 'My name is Riordan.' he said standing up. 'I am a senior warden from Orlais, but I was born and breed in Ferelden, Highever. And glad to be home.' he said, with a slight smile._

'_How did you end up in here?' Alistair asked._

_The smile dropped from Riordan's face. 'With a offer of hospitality and a poisoned chalice. I was fool enough to think that Teryn Loghain did not know who I was.'_

_Ava took the lead again, taking the questioning away from Alistair. 'What are you doing here?'_

'_King Cailan had invited all the wardens from Orlais to join him, but when we heard no news about the outcome of the battle at Ostagar, I was sent to investigate. The first that we heard of Loghain's edict was when we were turned away from Ferelden's boarders. We also heard rumours that the wardens were being blamed for the massacre.'_

'_All lies by Loghain's doing.' Alistair interrupted angrily. Ava placed a hand on his breast plate to calm him, allowing Riordan to continue._

'_Indeed brother. We thought it would be safer to send someone alone to find out more about the blight and the civil war. I am native to this country and so I volunteered.'_

'_So will there be no help then from the other wardens.' Ava asked, almost pleading with the older warden._

_Riordan looked at Ava, with sympathy in his eyes. 'No. The other wardens didn't want to become involved in the civil war. They want to save their strength in case Ferelden is too foolish to sort out their own problems and defeat the blight. The wardens will be ready for when the archdemon marches the darkspawn beyond Ferelden. Besides, I hear you have not been doing a bad job of gathering you own army.' Riordan said, raising an eyebrow and smiling at the two wardens in front of him. 'If the edict can be lifted and Ferelden is united, I can send a missive to the other wardens, and see what can be done.'_

_Ava reached inside her pockets, handing the grey warden documents to Riordan. 'Are these papers yours?'_

_Riordan looked at the papers. 'Yes, these are mine, thank you for returning them to me.'_

'_Do you know where Howe went?'_

_Riordan's face glazed over. 'Yes, that snake of a man went into the dungeon a few hours ago, no doubt to have some _fun_ with some helpless souls.'_

_Ava visibly shuddered at the thought. 'Where are you going to go now?' she asked. 'I know Arl Eamon will give you hospitality if you mention you are a grey warden, and mention Alistair's name.'_

'_That I will. I first need to find a good physician. I bid you farewell for now and I will seek you out at Arl Eamon's estate.' he said, walking away, before adding, 'And good luck sister.'_

_They left the cell behind them, Alistair pushing his way through another door. They were immediately set upon by a group of guards. Howe had employed well, the guards being tougher than expected. Even so, the guards were killed quickly enough without alerting their presence to anyone else in the dungeons._

_Ava was sickened at the sight in the dungeons. It was full of torture devices, the likes Ava had never even heard of before, never mind seen. As the group made their way through the dungeons, they would occasionally hear a shrill cry of pain. They found some prisoners along the way, one which was a noble's son in the process of being tortured, setting them free to find a way out of the maker forsaken place. _

_They finally arrived at a door. Ava could hear muffled voices behind it and placed her ear to the door. A cold shiver ran down her spine as she recognised one of the voices. It was Howe. She looked at Alistair who could see from the look in her eyes that her emotions were all over the place. He placed a calming hand on her shoulder, and placed a kiss on her forehead. She smiled up at the man she loved and took a deep breath, and then opened the door._

_Ava had seen many sights as a grey warden, but this is one that will probably haunt her for as long as she will live. Howe, a mage and two guards were surrounding a naked elven woman, who was strapped to a wall by her hands and feet. Her body was bruised and bleeding in places._

'_Makers breath.' Alistair whispered, almost silently._

'_Poor woman.' Leliana said, her voice cracking with emotion._

'_That is even too much for me to stomach.' Zevran said to no one in particular._

_Ava said nothing, unable to take her eyes away from the elven woman's. There was such desperation pouring from the other woman, Ava could almost smell it._

'_Well, look here,' Howe mocked at Ava. She snapped her eyes away from the elven woman. She finally looked at her parent's murderer. It took all her strength to restrain herself from just slitting the man's throat. 'Bryce Cousland's little spitfire all grown up, and still playing the man.' He laughed in Ava's face. 'I thought Loghain had made it clear, your family is long gone and forgotten.'_

'_I will make sure you won't forget them.' Ava said, calmly and evenly, surprising even herself. She was so angry inside. 'It was their memory that drove me to you.'_

_Howe's lip curled up in disgust at her words. 'Do you want to know what happened after you left?' his eyes daring her to challenge him. 'Your parents died on their knees, begging for their lives. I raped your mother, right in front of your father, he was so badly wounded all her could do was watch, it was the last thing he ever saw. Then I killed her.' he chuckled as though he was telling her an amusing tale. 'Your brother's body lies on some battlefield, rotting in Ostagar, and his brat burned on a fire along with his Antivan whore of a wife.' Ava shook her head at his words, but was unable to turn away. Howe smiled at her as his words had the intended effect. 'And what's left? A fool of a daughter who is likely to end her days under a rock in the deeproads.' Howe continued laughing, almost hysterically. 'Even the wardens are gone. You are the last of nothing. You have lost.' he hissed._

'_You lie Howe. To yourself most of all. I am still a Cousland, and a grey warden, so is Alistair, that is enough.'_

_Howe's eyes flickered fleetingly to Alistair before looking back at Ava. 'There it is, right there!' he jeered, his eyes boring straight through Ava's. 'That damned look in the eye that marked every Cousland success that held me back.' His expression changed from one of contempt to one of sincerity. 'It would appear you have made something of yourself after all. Your father would be proud.'_

_Hot, angry tears escaped her eyes at his final words. 'Enough!' she cried. 'You took my parent's life, it is my right to take yours!' she shouted, drawing her weapons. 'I want to see your blood on my blade.'_

'_As I want to see yours on mine.' he said mimicking her motions, also reaching for his weapons._

_Her companions charged for the guards and mage. Ava could hear Alistair taunting and jeering the guards, but he sounded far away. She was vaguely aware of the battle ensuing around her, but it was like she was trapped in a bubble, everything moving in slow motion. She had waited for this moment for months, never actually sure if she would make it this far. Her eyes moved quickly from Howe to her blade. It was the Cousland blade that she had taken from the armoury on the night Howe had seized power at Highever. She had promised her mother and father that she would use it to slay Howe, and now she would be able to fulfil her promise. _

_Neither Ava or Howe moved for several seconds, each one sizing the other up. Howe made the first move, lunging a dagger followed by another at Ava, attempting to find a weak spot in her side. She smoothly parried his attack, spinning away from his line of sight. She underestimated him though, and he spun round quicker than she thought he would. He managed to slice her forearm with a dagger, drawing bright blood from the wound. He raised a brow at her, a cocky smile on his lips. He brought the dagger to his face, and smelt the coppery blood on his blade. He laughed mockingly at Ava. _

_Her nostrils flared in rage at his antics. She powerfully thrust a dagger towards the man, causing him to stumble. She moved in for the kill, but as he tumbled to the floor he expertly rolled backwards. Ava narrowly missed him, her blade clanging forcefully on the floor. He jumped back on his feet, breathless from the exertion. They stood for a few seconds facing each other, this time Ava making the first move. She swept her weapons in front of her, spinning them in her palms before sweeping them again. She managed to strike him twice once on the face, and once across his neck. The cuts were not deep, but were satisfying. Ava held up the Cousland blade to her nose and copied Howe's earlier moves._

_They jabbed weapons at each other for several minutes, neither one managing to land anymore blows. Ava was becoming tired, they were evenly matched. Howe had more stamina than she anticipated, managing to stay away from the end of her blade. Sweat trickled down her forehead into her eyes. She wiped the back of her hand across her brow._

_He glowered at her. 'You put up a better fight than your parents.' he shouted, jabbing a dagger in her direction. She evaded the blade and roared angrily. That was the final straw, she didn't care if she died, as long as she took Howe with her. She sprinted towards the man. His eyes widened as he saw her barrelling towards him. He was caught unawares and she tackled him to the floor. He dropped his weapons, and was defenceless. They grappled on the floor. Ava dropped her dagger, but managed to keep her sword. She managed to sit astride him. Ava clenched her gloved fist, pulled her hand back and swung down with every inch of strength she could muster. Her fist landed squarely on his hawkish nose, and could feel it crumple under the force, blood spraying over them both. She pulled her fist back over and over again, punching him hard on the face, the anger coursing through her, guiding her hand. She then remembered she had her family sword. She raised the sword above her head._

_His head stayed still, but his eyes moved to the sword above his head before looking at Ava. 'Maker spit on you... I deserved... more.' he gurgled out._

_Ava took one last look at the man and plunged the sword straight into Howe's head, between the eyes. She sat astride the man for a few seconds, in exactly the same position, panting from the effort. She felt a hand on her shoulder. She tore her eyes away from Howe to see Alistair's concerned face looking down on her. His eyes were full of sympathy. He helped her up, before she broke down in floods of tears. She buried her head in his shoulder, and he wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on hers. They stayed like that for a few minutes while Leliana and Zevran untied the elven girl. Leliana comforted her and helped her in clothes, Zevran looking at Ava and Alistair._

_Ava finally broke the embrace, her eyes red from crying. 'Thank you.' she choked out. 'For being here with me.'_

'_Any time.' he whispered in her ear. 'I love you, I would do anything for you.'_

_Alistair wrapped a hand around her waist, Ava leaning on him for support, her legs suddenly going weak._

_Zevran carried the elven girl in his arms and the group left the dungeon behind. Ava never looked back._

'We rescued Anora once the mage was dead. Before we could escape the Denerim estate, we were caught by Ser Cauthrien, Loghain's second. I thought it would be sensible to surrender, I didn't want anyone getting hurt, there was too many of them. We were taken to Fort Drakon and tortured mercilessly.' she finished, looking at Nathaniel for the first time since she started speaking. 'But do you know the funny thing?' she chuckled humourlessly. 'Killing him didn't make me feel better. I still felt hollow, empty and bitter.' Ava sighed before saying. 'I still do.'

He was silent. She searched his face for any sign of emotion and found none, and turned away. He rubbed his face in his hands and sighed. They sat like that for the next hour. He finally spoke up.

'Delilah told me he started to divulge in his darker side but I...had no idea.' he muttered. No wonder people hate me and my family.'

She had no more to say on the matter, the subject was emotionally draining. They sat in silence, watching as the camp became swamped in morning light, signalling the start of a new day.


End file.
